Sharing a living space is never easy, especially when it’s an unfamiliar experience with equally unfamiliar people. I came face to face with this reality when I moved into my first college apartment. The people I currently live with all knew and lived with each other, so I definitely felt like the odd man out. I was excited to live in a larger space and have more opportunities to cook and clean, but I was apprehensive about adapting to three other people and their activities. Eventually I realized that everything would be totally fine, but it definitely took a bit of a leap. The moral of the story here: talk to your roommates!
College is messy and busy, so it’s often difficult to find the time or energy to really get to know people. Having a shared living space is a good way to connect with people, but it feels awkward when you’re sharing with people you’ve never met. My roommates are all in different programs from me, so the idea of commiserating about classes didn’t quite feel right. We also exist in different friend groups and organizations, so the amount of material I had to connect with them was limited. Honestly, it’s probably my tendency to lean on the more introverted side that prevented me from really being able to just jump into being super friendly, but I was unsure how to approach the task.
Things began slow and awkward, as is to be expected. A simple “Hey” when you get home is a good way to start. A full-blown conversation isn’t bound to start once I step through the door, but it’s better than ignoring my roommates. The first time we went shopping for basic household stuff was a good time to get to know them, too. You pick up the basics pretty easily over a meal and a decision about what you need for the kitchen. Knowing your roommate’s major is a good way to connect, and it gets easier to know someone when you watch how they shop and engage in the space. My roommates aren’t always the greatest at cleaning the kitchen or anything, but they’re funny and I can relate to them way more than I thought. Sometimes it’s the passing text messages about bringing friends over or sharing the frustration of your car getting towed that brings you closer. I can’t say my roommates have become my close friends by any means, but I’m grateful to not feel like I’m living with strangers.
You don’t need to be besties with your roommate but do yourself a favor and get to know them. Things are never perfect, but that’s just a part of learning to coexist with new people. There are far too many relatable experiences to ignore to connect with your roommates, and even if it’s the smallest acknowledgement, it’s something. College is a complicated time when it comes to meeting people and sharing spaces, but it’s just as good a time to understand that you’re all in this together. Your roommates will have just as much to learn about you, so take that step and get to know them.