I always knew that I wanted to join a sorority. Growing up with four brothers and no sisters, I longed for the feeling of belonging seen in movies like “Legally Blonde” and “Sydney White.” However, in the real world, Greek Life is not always known for exemplifying values of diversity, equity and inclusion. Exclusionary practices like refusing to extend bids to minority communities and hazing practices for new members initially made me wary of joining a lifelong sisterhood. Despite my conflicting feelings about the controversial history of Fraternity and Sorority Life, I knew that these social communities were built upon values that aligned with my Catholic faith and were meant to do good. Now, serving on two executive boards as Vice President of Programming for my sorority as well as Vice President of Public Relations on the Panhellenic executive board, I can proudly state that being tied to these organizations for life has made me a better leader, a better person and a better friend.
Being active and involved with sorority life has taught me invaluable lessons about the importance of community. It showed me that there will always be a seat saved for me at the table, whether it is to speak on behalf of my position at an executive board meeting or to sit as a passenger with my sisters to grab a sweet treat after a long study night together.Â
Community in sorority life goes beyond weekly chapter meetings and even beyond Greek letters. At Saint Louis University, the Panhellenic Council is composed of seven different sororities where no matter what letters you represent, every member is invested in each other’s success, joy and well-being. During my first week on campus freshman year before recruitment, I felt lost and isolated. I had the best freshman-year roommate and made positive connections with girls within my major, but I struggled with being extremely homesick and missing my high school friends deeply. After three rounds of recruitment and a whole lot of tears with my recruitment counselor, I ran home to Delta Gamma, where members immediately instilled a genuine sense of belonging in me.Â
Beyond the social aspects of having reserved venues for formals and going to sisterhood events like apple-picking at Eckerts, sorority life has also shown me the importance of servant leadership. Pursuing an executive role within my chapter was never about holding a position of power, but about having the opportunity to empower others, listen to their needs and work collaboratively to achieve a common goal. Working alongside my sisters to raise money and volunteer for our chapter philanthropy, Service for Sight, not only allows me to spend time with my friends but also be a part of something bigger than myself.Â
At the Delta Gamma Fraternity Convention in 1936, Ruth Billow, a member of Delta Gamma with blindness, advocated for “Aid to the Blind” to become the fraternity’s official philanthropy. “Aid to the Blind” eventually became “Service for Sight” and filled a critical need for resources and education to families with kids who experienced varying degrees of blindness or other visual impairments. Knowing that our major philanthropy came to fruition because other sisters wanted to assist Billow in her passion perfectly exemplifies what the Do Good sisterhood means to me.
Sorority life has shown me that when I take up space, it is not an inconvenience to others. I belong here. Even when I falter, I have an army of strong women with shared values — like loyalty, friendship, educational and cultural interests — who will stand beside me. From being a general member to taking on a director role and now serving on the executive board for my chapter and Panhellenic Council, I am no stranger to working with friends and new faces. Through my role on Panhellenic Council, I have gotten to work with members from other chapters, which has widened my worldview on sorority life.Â
Weekly executive board meetings sound boring on paper, but in person, they are filled with laughter to the point of tears. Though one year ago I was just Instagram mutuals with these girls, now I get to hang out with them every week. These are the lessons and friends that I will carry with me long after my time at SLU, and they have shaped me into being the best person I can be.
Most importantly, joining a sorority has taught me how to be a better friend. The three buzzwords you will always hear from a Panhellenic member at SLU are being seen, heard and loved. When I think about the lessons in friendship that sorority life has brought me, I think of this quote from Dolly Alderton.
“Nearly everything I know about love I’ve learnt from my long-term friendships with women.”
Primary recruitment at SLU consists of a five-day process where potential new members meet all seven chapters and can get up to two hours of conversation with active members to decide where they want to run home. For life. Overwhelming, right? This poses the question of whether these friendships are genuine or not, which, in my experience, they are.Â
The COVID-19 pandemic took away two and a half years of high school, from the spring semester of my sophomore year until graduation. Although I still hold strong friendships from high school, things may have been different if I did not have the privilege to go out in public with friends as restrictions lessened over time. My relationship-building muscle had atrophied by the time I got to college, and I was eager to regain its strength on my first day.Â
I have made many mistakes in past friendships and experienced hurt from others. However, accountability taught me to be a better listener. Learning to meet people where they are instead of expecting them to always be on the same wavelength as me has been one of my biggest lessons. Not only have I experienced love in the friendships that sorority life has gifted me with, but I have also learned how to extend it to others. The little things, like when my friends send me a good-luck text before one of my early morning exams or invite me to a pre-chapter dinner, make a positive impact on my sense of belonging. Despite my packed schedule, I will always make room for a ten-minute phone call as I drive home from clinical or walk on the treadmill.Â
The sorority experience at SLU has given me lifelong friendships and lessons that will extend far beyond my collegiate years. I imagine decades from now, when my composite picture (aka sorority yearbook photos) becomes unrecognizable to new members of Delta Gamma, I will still be laughing with my sorority sisters when we think back to the unforgettable experiences of sorority life that has given us.