Last year at our Her Campus spring banquet, I was awarded the “most likely to romanticize the college experience” superlative in reference to my plethora of published articles that range from speaking on my experience in sorority life and study abroad to my deep love for the friendships I have made along the way. And honestly, they were not wrong! I have spent the last six semesters planning every day by the hour to squeeze every last drop of the college experience that I could get — including moving in a week and a half before classes began to be a freshman orientation leader. Somewhere between Her Campus meetings, Delta Gamma social and sisterhood events, endless nursing lectures and holding five leadership positions, over the past three years, I built a version of college that I know I will miss deeply.
But being over-involved also meant that I rarely slowed down to actually feel the moments I was living in. My heart was (and is!) always full, and so was my pink paper planner. It is easy to get caught up in the next thing, the next meeting, the next event, the next volunteer shift, until suddenly the only thing left is graduation. I used to think that being involved was the best way to make the most of my college experience. Now, as I reflect, I think it is about being present.Â
I had this realization at my sorority social event. The Delta Gamma chapter at Saint Louis University (SLU) hosts an annual semi-formal event called “Presents,” where members wear their cutest black dresses and celebrate the newest class of members as our first social of the fall semester. Holding an executive board position within my chapter, I have an additional responsibility of being a sober monitor to ensure the safety of our members during the event.Â
As I stood off to the side of the dance floor to survey for signs of emergency or alarm, I saw something else. My friends were laughing and beckoning me to rejoin their dance circle, new members were experiencing their first-ever sorority event and we had probably the best DJ our chapter has ever had at a social event. I was no longer thinking about logistics or responsibilities; I was instead overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude and love for the community around me.Â
I thought back to all of my “firsts:” my first Presents, where I wore a black dress that was maybe a little bit too mini, looking up to the older girls who seemed to have it all figured out; my first time seeing my article published on the SLU Her Campus website; my first time donning neon orange to lead first-year SLU students to start their journey strong; my first time setting foot on campus, I was ready for anything. At my last Presents, I was seeing how all of those firsts became lasts over the course of my fall semester.Â
Spring semester is just around the corner, along with graduation. It is terrifying, but at the same time exciting. It is strange to know that the campus that has become home will soon become a place I visit every once in a while. The days that once felt unrelenting are winding down faster than I would like.Â
Now, I am trying to soak up the in-between moments I once rushed through. I no longer feel the need to do everything and be everything to make college meaningful. I just want to be present for what is left.
I do not regret a single club or leadership position I have taken on. Every experience, no matter how calm or chaotic, has led me to the person I am today. Over-involved does not have to mean being worn thin, although it feels that way sometimes. It means that I have cared deeply about the community I chose on a whim four years ago. In the process of it all, I will never stop romanticizing these years because I am forever grateful to my pink paper planner and the people who made this place worth loving.