I think it is fair to assume that sorority and STEM major do not commonly go together in a sentence. It’s nothing to be ashamed of; honestly, I view it as an archetype ingrained into culture via media, movies and hilarious tweets. Even my friends that came to the United States while studying abroad knew of the sorority archetype before they arrived in the U.S., and they were surprised to learn that I was in a sorority and a high-achieving STEM major.
The only problem I take with this archetype is that it almost caused me to miss out on some of the best memories that I have from my undergraduate years. I was the type of girl—as many girls are trained to be—that thought a sorority wasn’t the place for an engineering major. I thought that the sorority would be filled with the 3B’s (boys, booze and Barbie-doll makeup looks), and, in all honesty, I knew I wouldn’t have time, or the desire, for that college lifestyle.
I found out that I was completely misjudging sororities my freshman year of college, and I ultimately ended up joining one that makes me feel proud of my identity as both a researching engineering major and a girl that likes to have fun and get dressed up every once and a while. Here are some tips for making the most out of college, from a busy sorority girl and STEM major.
1. It’s a balance
This literally sounds like something out of “Eat, Pray, Love,” but I am telling you that it needs to happen. There needs to be a balance in everything. A balance in the people you spend your time with—not too many pre-meds and not too many marketing majors—and the things you do in your free time.
Something that everyone should consider while they are in college is how they destress. How do you keep yourself calm when you should be stressed? Are you reading a book, cleaning your room, calling your mom and telling her everything happening in your life? The options are endless, but you need to find a way to let out your stress.
The thing I love about my sorority is that it keeps me balanced. We have movie nights for every week that I had huge exams. There are sisterhoods for when I wanted to lowkey procrastinate homework. I have sisters that I came to call my best friends and can call when I am having a bad day so they can offer pizza and a “Game of Thrones” marathon. There is always a balance to these things—you just have to find it.
2. there is a time and a place
This is a lesson everyone should learn regardless of their major or club affiliations: there is a time and a place for everything. There is a time to bring things up about your life and there will be times that things are better left unsaid.
I kind of have a rule for this one too: the Jimmy Kimmel rule. There’s a little scenario I like to do in my head before I talk to important people or make big life decisions. For a moment, I like to pretend that I am famous. Bear with me for a second, this has a point. I imagine that I am famous, and I am going out on Jimmy Kimmel to promote a new movie, show, album or whatever I am famous for. As I imagine sitting in my chair and talking to Jimmy, I wonder to myself, would this decision, story or topic in general be something that I could tell Jimmy Kimmel? If it is, great! But if it is not, then I probably shouldn’t be doing it. This works the same for figuring out if it is the right time and place to mention something.
Certain things just don’t get brought up with certain people. For instance, I would never bring up my work in the research lab during a chapter meeting for my sorority. Why? Because chapter is for business, and it is not the time for me to brag about myself. Similarly, there are unspoken rules of what to bring up around people of your major. The trick is figuring out what you can and cannot bring up without compromising how you are viewed professionally or your interests that make you unique.
3. the weekends are for the gals
Being a perfectionist, I can get trapped into thinking that the weekend is for making notecards, doing group projects by myself and finishing up all my pre-labs for the upcoming week. While that is sometimes necessary for college, it definitely should not be your schedule every weekend.
Make some time for yourself, and make some time for the girls while you’re at it. My rule of thumb is that I need to see at least one of my besties each weekend. This keeps me out of my books because none of my besties are engineers or pre-med students. You need to have someone to vent to, but you also need to have someone that will pull you out of your studies and stresses of the week long enough to have boy talk over a glass of wine or watch a romantic comedy that just arrived on Netflix.
Basically, invite some friends over, do some face masks that are overly expensive, eat some food and enjoy the little things in life before you get stressed out again during the week.
College is difficult in itself, but it can be even more difficult if there is no support system to lift you up when needed. You need to find those people that will always support you regardless of your decisions. Those people may not be in a sorority for you, but those people are out there. The main thing that you need to do is try things out to find this community of people that will support you.
Even if you are nearing the end of your college experience, don’t consider this a lost cause. As an advocate for all girls who think like me, please hear me when I say that it’s not too late to find a club you enjoy, even if it is stereotypically not for your major. You only get one chance to be in college with a lot of unique, vibrant and talented women that will build you up despite your differences. Take advantage of that opportunity, and do not waste the chance to have someone that will lift you up because you are hung up on a stereotype.