To say this semester has been busy would be an understatement. This semester has been busy in a new sense as it has been consistently busy, not just busier around midterms and before break. Usually, when my life is feeling especially busy, I comfort myself by dreaming about when it will be less busy. I imagine the next time I will have a lull period or, better yet, a fresh start, and I tell myself that I just need to get to that point and then everything will be better again. But what I have learned this semester is that there is no such thing as a reset button.
I constantly tell myself “It’s just this week/month/semester/year that is so busy, once I get through this stretch of time, everything will be back to normal.” I have an ever-present hope that one day I will have a clean slate and I’ll be able to start over. This is particularly nice to think about because I don’t know what it will look like. So I picture my calendar being empty. I picture myself carefree and well-rested, laughing with friends, spending extra long doing the things I enjoy without a worry in sight. Often I have no idea what to picture. The imagined times are so idyllic because they do not exist. And I think life like this would probably not be as fulfilling as my imagination makes it seem.
I have learned that I am such a busy person because I actually like it this way. Spending time with friends, playing sports, being involved in lots of clubs and activities on campus and even taking many classes all enrich my life. Being the extrovert that I am, I love interacting with a lot of people every day. I enjoy being busy in the afternoons and evenings instead of having large open time blocks. Often when I am I am in these lull periods I feel bored and like my life is dull. The problem I have is doing things that I don’t enjoy, not just doing things. Life is simply too messy and random for everything to come together the way we imagine in our ideal realities. There are always new things popping up unexpectedly.
It would never work to have no worries at all because, without worries, stress, sad times and many other hard emotions, there is no contrast for us to recognize when the good times are happening. We only really feel happy, carefree, well-rested and enjoy time with friends or our hobbies because we know what it is like to not have them. But life is busy, and it is hard to know when these good times will come, so expecting them just puts more pressure on them to come at particular times, making the stress around them outweigh the good. The more pressure we put on good times the more let down we are when they are not only not good but also not spectacular.
A real reset would mean that everything that has happened thus far would not mean anything. We should be proud of the struggle, embrace the hard times, and be thankful for the good times when they come, rather than forcing them or putting too much pressure on them to occur. The small moments for peace and rest are more abundant if you just know where to look for them. For example, a meal with friends, a canceled class, or even a walk to class can be restorative if you don’t try to force them into being “productive” in every moment.
I have tried to shift my mindset away from the reset button. I remind myself to keep chugging along, knowing that it cannot last forever, while not fantasizing about a time that will never (and should never) come. I have learned to think of the periods in my life as a continuum, full of lessons and growth, instead of as distinct times to get through. Reframing life this way allows for less pressure and encourages more realistic thinking. A magical “reset your life” button might not exist, but all you need is a mindset reset to begin dealing with all the things that life throws at you.