Words can be subjective — with any given phrase, it can be hard to know exactly what the person means by it. And yet, in my experience, there is one set of words whose meaning is strong and true regardless of the circumstances. I am, of course, referring to “I love you.”
Expressing a sentiment like love can be difficult, no matter the context. It requires intense vulnerability and can stimulate fears of rejection or abandonment. And yet these three weighted words, if said to the right person or people, have the power to strengthen a bond like nothing else.
We live in a society where love is instantly synonymous with romance. Between partners, saying “I love you” is an important milestone within a relationship, even an expected milestone. When a person says “I love you” to their partner in a public setting, bystanders usually do not so much as bat an eye. It is extremely normalized.
In the case of friendships, though, the same situation is viewed much differently. No matter the duration and strength of a friendship, it is rarely held to the same degree of importance in the eyes of mainstream society.
In my life, my friendships have been some of my most enduring and influential relationships. In my teenage years, my friends were the first ones to calm me down when I freaked out about my geometry test and the first ones to celebrate me when I got into college. They were there to bring me smoothies when I had my wisdom teeth removed and to drive around blasting Taylor Swift when I was feeling sad. As I transitioned into college, I was lucky to find even more beautiful friendships. I met friends who would buy me flowers and would listen to me talk for hours until I found the right words. In a room full of opportunities, I know that these friends would advocate for me. And, in turn, I would always do the same for them. In short, I love them.
And yet, it can be very difficult to say these words. I fear coming across as weird, overly cheesy or fake. I tell myself that I do not want to jeopardize a strong relationship by getting too sentimental — but, of course, that is not the truth.
Sometimes, I tell a friend that I love them and I am met with surprise. In time, I have learned that this is rarely due to the meaning behind the words, but rather because I am saying the words out loud. It has made me realize that, no matter how uncomfortable it feels in the moment, it is so important to tell your friends you love them.
If I have learned anything from the friendships of my late teens and early twenties, it is that people cannot read my mind. When I want someone to know something, I have to tell them. In turn, people deserve to know how I feel about them, especially if that feeling is love.
Friendships can be just as strong, powerful and enduring as romantic relationships, and they deserve to be treated as such. If we all go the extra mile by not taking our friends for granted, we can normalize prioritizing friendships. Saying three short words may seem small, but it can go a long way. So, if you are reading this, here is your sign: tell your friends you love them.