This semester has been my hardest yet. Most of my classes are just okay, I feel homesick more than usual, and I’ve been counting down the days until the end of the semester since it began it August. In my mind, this semester was just a hoop that I needed to jump through before beginning my study abroad adventure in Madrid, Spain next semester. I promised myself that if I was able to get through this hard semester, then I would be rewarded greatly next year with fun travels and unique experiences that I was sure I could only have while living abroad. By promising myself this, I basically forced myself into a little box of misery and constant longing to just fast forward time instead of living presently in the moment.
But as the semester continued to drag on, time seemed to slip through my fingers faster than I wanted it to. I was not ready for the holiday season to arrive even though I had been wishing for it all year, and I most definitely was not ready to leave campus and some of my friends for eight months. I began to think that maybe, just maybe, this semester hadn’t been such a burden after all. I think I have learned more about myself this semester than I ever have before. I’ve laughed more, I’ve formed new friendships and strengthened old ones, and I think I’ve really figured out what I want to do with my life after college is over. So why did I only appreciate these moments after they had already passed, rather than when they were actually happening?
The truth is: being mindful is hard.
It’s so easy to get distracted and not be one hundred percent mentally available in the moment, especially when there’s so much to think about and look forward to in the future. It’s hard to have a good balance of both, which is another thing I can add to the list of things I’ve learned this semester. I’ve also learned that while it’s okay to be excited about the future, it’s also important to live presently in the time we have now because before we know it, it will be gone too.
I don’t regret the way I treated this semester because it has ultimately become a great learning experience on how to be more mindful with my time. Taking the time to appreciate mindfulness and all it has to offer is something I’m beginning to cherish more and more. When we are truly mindful, we are maintaining a state of active and open attention to the present, moment by moment. They say time flies and maybe it does, but these past few months have ultimately taught me to live presently, be actively engaged, and focus on what matters. Of course, it’s always easier said than done, but I’m looking forward to continuing this journey, as mindfully as possible.