College is a time for new experiences. For many, this includes moving away from home. While you could be just ten minutes away from your family home, or ten hours away, this is a big step in an adolescent’s life.
While moving away has a lot of perks, something scary can emerge while this change is happening. Specifically, a lot of long-distance relationships begin when people move away for college or anything that requires two people to be far enough away from one another that they cannot see each other as frequently as they once were able to.
A long-distance relationship is just what it sounds like. It is a relationship where two people are far away from each other. When most people think of long-distance, they think of partners that are ten to 20 hours away from each other, when, in reality, even a distance of one hour could be considered long-distance.
Even though the term is usually used for romantic relationships, long-distance relationships do not always have to be romantic. Long-distance relationships can also be between friends or relatives.
There are some differences when the relationship is platonic versus romantic. While both are hard due to missing someone you are close to, platonic and familial relationships do not require as much work and communication as those that are romantic.
As someone who is in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend, I can say that it is definitely hard. It is very emotionally taxing. Going from seeing your person most days to seeing them only a handful of days throughout the semester is not easy.
Long-distance relationships are definitely harder for those who are five or more hours away from each other. While some people stay closer to their partners and are able to visit each other more often, others are not able to do that. This has negative effects on the relationship.
Studies show that there is almost a kind of “jet lag” for those in long-distance relationships. This is displayed by the fact that they miss out on changes their partner undergoes and can end up staying in a stage of their relationship that no longer exists. People change so much in a semester, and without being there for those changes, it can feel as if the person that is in the relationship is very different from when the relationship started and can make one feel as if they do not know the person they are in a relationship with.
This can lead to emotional distress if what is needed in the relationship is not communicated about. Both parties must have a part in the conversation of what is needed for their relationship. As stated before, so much change is happening while the couple is away from one another that there needs to be more communication than there would normally be.
But studies also show that there are positives in long-distance relationships. Couples are able to communicate better and more deeply because talking is one of the only things that people in long-distance relationships can do with one another. As a result, there is more creativity in conversations and deeper topics to be brought up.
Studies have also shown that there is a rise in independence in long-distance relationships, as opposed to overdependence. Because communication is deeper in long-distance relationships, there tends to be more trust in the relationship, rather than stress and confusion. The relationship can blossom into something true and free, rather than something potentially harmful due to overdependence on a partner.
While every relationship is different, distance can make the heart grow fonder. And some independence can help in the long run. As someone in a long-distance relationship, I feel like having that independence is really great, because now I have my own life that I can tell him all about, rather than us practically living the same life, which tends to arise in overdependent relationships.
Relationships are hard work, whether long-distance or short. As long as there is communication and trust, any relationship can work if that work is put in. All it takes is effort.