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How College Changed My Relationship with My Mom

I’ve been extremely fortunate to have a beautiful friendship with my mom. She is the most consistent and loving person in my life, and while I love and value all of my dear friendships, I recognize that none of them can surpass or quite match my bond with my mother.  We have always been incredibly close, even through mischief of curiosity, teen angst through my teens, and copious mistakes that come from growing up. My relationship with my mother, while very much growing and evolving, has never wavered. 

When I first moved into my freshman-year dorm, I was honestly a little concerned about how I would hold out. I am very independent, but I would be lying if I said I did not rely on my mother for food, advice, and general questions about getting through the day to day. I can say now that although I do not have my life completely sorted out and I still need a lot of help, my reliance on my mother has transformed into a more complex relationship of my need for her friendship and support. 

Living in a different city than my mom also made me realize how unbelievably special our friendship is. There is nothing surface level about our relationship, and being away allows for me to come back a value our time together and witness how much my mother has sacrificed for me to lead the beautiful and privileged life I do. 

I still call her with weird questions, like how to fill out leases, or job applications, or how to actually cook something without it being burnt. However, as much as I desperately need that help, I value more our honest interactions and conversations more than I did while living at home. College made me confront many aspects of my own life, and even from over 300 miles away, she showed me unwavering love and support. She has proven to me time and time again that she is my best friend along with being the most impressive mother. Talking to her while I am at school has shown me that I not only mirror many of her collegiate experiences, but I have learned so much about our friendship from being at school. 

I recognize that not all relationship with maternal figures look exactly like mine, but I cannot speak to how grateful I am to have ended up with a mother like mine. My spirit, passion, work ethics, and compassion comes from observing and being raised by her. This long and terribly personal article is all worth it because I feel I don’t express how often she is the simply the best. At the end of the day, I just really love my mom and I can’t help but notice how special she is, even from my life at SLU. 


Brenna Wall is a Communication student at Saint Louis University and Chicago native. Along with being a part of the HC team at SLU, she is involved with a feminist forum on campus, KSLU Radio, the Micah Program, and a homeless outreach and ministry program. She loves coffee, dogs, intersectional feminism, traveling, and the wild outdoors. Follow my Instagram to see more of my adventures @brenna.wall. 
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