Every woman has experienced mansplaining in some degree whether they realize it is happening or not, and it is never appreciated or welcomed. But the worst part of it all is that most men just don’t realize they’re doing it! So, here it is. @Men, if you want to be a better human being to us women, here are 9 common things that men constantly mansplain to women. Please stop.
1. Our Sexualities
Don’t try to justify to me why we should like you/date you. We don’t apologize for our inability to get you out of the friendzone and into our pants. Accept that a woman can’t always reciprocate your emotions. Your heartbreak does not give you the excuse to invalidate a woman’s feelings. But what is especially annoying is when men try to discredit a woman’s homosexuality with the, “But are you really gay?” question. Boy, bye.
2. Our Jobs
Disclaimer: Personally, I really appreciate it when I get constructive criticism from my male coworkers. However, there is a fine line between being constructively criticized and being mansplained. When being mansplained at work it goes in either two ways: 1) Women are treated like the most delicate flower that might break as if a 0.2 mph breeze could blow us over or 2) Women are treated as if we have a rock for a brain. I feel like what a lot of men don’t realize is that mansplaining is not just about what is being said, but how you say it. The biggest thing with giving constructive criticism is to not to be condescending to the person you are trying to help. With a lot of women who receive criticism from men, more often than not we are made to feel as though a man’s input is something that is essential than something that is supplemental.
3. Our Emotions
Once again, I don’t need you to tell me how I feel. Don’t say I’m too emotional. Don’t blame it on my natural bodily functions. Don’t tell me I should smile when I don’t feel like smiling. Or that I should smile because I look better when I do. Women don’t owe their precious smiles to anyone, especially YOU.
4. Our Clothes
Don’t tell us what we should or should not wear. Don’t judge that girl for wearing what’s comfortable on her own skin. Stop making your excuse to slut-shame other women because “girls slut-shame each other”. That’s our problem that we need to fix. There is no need to be an addition to the list of problems we know we already have.
5. Our Majors
Why are you explaining STEM to a woman when you know you’re in the same program? And also, even if a woman is not a STEM major does not necessarily mean she has no idea about it. Stop assuming that we don’t know. Please respect us for what we actually do know. This does not mean to stop talking to us completely, we just ask you to speak to us the same way you approach other male colleagues in intellectual conversations. We’ve earned the ability to get a higher education, and we deserve that same respect.
6. Our Hobbies
Help us stop the gender biases against girls, especially in sports. It’s 2017, someone doesn’t have to seem masculine in order to know jack about basketball, football, hockey, etc.
7. Our Femininity
Along with that previous statement, don’t try rating our femininity with the activities that we choose to do or how we choose to look as if you are the judge in the gender olympics. You have no say in what makes us more of a ‘woman’ than other women. Stay in your lane.
8. Our Bodies
You have no right to tell me what I should or should not do with my body. You do not have my body, so you don’t know my body. Plain and simple. Why let a kid drive a car, if you know they can’t drive? Why tell a woman what she should do with her body if you don’t know the first thing about what it’s like to be a woman? @Congress (Hell, would you tell a male friend what he should do with his body?)
9. Feminism
Realize I mentioned “our” in every statement numbered point except Feminism. This is because many of the things that I stated are things that belong and should only belong to women. However, feminism is something that we should all share. Contrary to the patriarchy’s popular belief, feminism is not a movement that hopes to eradicate the male population or take away anyone else’s rights. It’s about equality. No, we’re not calling it any other name because the oppressed group here is the women and therefore there should be a focus on women. Men, you already put your name in everything so stop trying to change the name of feminism.
It’s 2017 and women just want equality. Many may wonder how getting rid of mansplaining will stop anything or revise any inequality in our laws. Maybe it won’t change anything directly, but one thing that is for sure is that we need to change the way how the world views women. We can continue to ask and push for change in legislation but that is only a portion of the fight. Most of the battle is transforming our society. Men, this is your fight–not just because you have a mom, or a grandmother, or a sister, or a wife, or a daughter. No. This is your fight because women are people and when women win, we all win. Women will reach victory with or without you because nevertheless, WE will persist.