Being able to validate feelings by sharing them with another person, is possibly one of the most constructive ways to combat our internal battles. Through sharing these intimate struggles, one can materialize feelings and actions, and as a result bring about a sense of clarity and self-understanding. It is our responsibility as human beings to provide that outlet for each other to share experiences. This is not only important as it provides a sense of healing, but it also builds strength through connection that can combat the burden of pain.
The best way to show someone that they are important and their feelings are valid is through active and intentional listening. Unfortunately, we sometimes get so caught up in our own internal struggles that we forget to acknowledge that other people are also experiencing their own battles. As a result, I think active and constructive listening can be easily overlooked. It is very easy to get caught up in our own feelings and thoughts, as we experience them quite intimately, and thus we are not inclined to place as much value on other people’s experiences. While this may seem like I am deeming the human race to be incredibly selfish, I think we can overcome this inclination to only listen to our own thoughts, but it is important to acknowledge that genuine listening does not come about just by existing with another human who is talking.
Genuine, empathetic listening means asking questions, it means responding to people without judgment, it means recognizing when someone needs to talk, it means allowing for silence, it means shutting off your own struggles for a minute and whole-heartedly feeling for what another person has gone through. Thus listening becomes more than just experiencing vibrations within the cochlear eardrum. Rather, active listening should be an internalization of the weight of another person’s burdens through their words.
Humans are social creatures and in this we are prone to interact with people daily. Therefore, it may feel like we are listening to people all day every day, as this is the basis of almost all human interactions. However, there is a difference between coexisting in indifference and actively engaging in another person’s perceptions of life. This idea may seem lofty, but it carries such merit. There is nothing worse than feeling like your words are not regarded as important or your words are simply filling dead air. Words are one of the most intimate ways we can express ourselves, and if words are not carried with value, language can be incredibly destructive.
Humans are sensitive and should be treated with immense care and our struggles should be acknowledged. Through active listening, we can express to each other that our own individual experience is important.