Before starting this article, I would like to mention two things.
-
There are triggers within this article (sexual assault).
-
This is an opinionated piece, rather than informative.
Saint Louis University has impressed me. As a freshman, Fall Welcome was exactly what I needed to delve myself into the new community. From the riots and after-aches of Paint SLU, to the calming morning of yoga on the quad, I met so many great friends, staff, and faculty. There is not much I would change about this welcome week, aside from perhaps two things: one (1) – getting more sleep and two (2) – the “Can I Kiss You?” presentation.
After hearing about this glorified presentation, I was genuinely excited to hear the speaker preach about the importance of consent.
To be completely serious, I was disappointed.
For the persons who did not attend the “Can I Kiss You?” presentation, it was one of the two choices required for most freshmen. The goal of the presentation was to inform students about the seriousness of sexual assault and consent. The speaker addressed how he made it to the stage; to be as straight forward as possible, he was there because of his sister’s rape. He did address concerns about creating a profession based off her story, but some parts were still unsettling.
Since I have friends who have experienced sexual assault, this sense of “comedy” was triggering. I do understand why the speaker wanted to attract his audience, but it was offensive to some that he was trying to enlighten such a sensitive topic. For those who were not there, an example of comedy in the beginning of the presentation was prompted chants on the large projectors reading something along the lines of “say ‘ohh-yeaahhh!’ if you think someone at SLU is hot!” This concerned me in the beginning of the activity, but I gave the speaker the benefit of the doubt.
The speaker then proceeded by bringing up two volunteers, one of each binary gender, and asking them to play out a consent scene. This had the audience roaring with jokes, laughter, and embarrassment. When the speaker asked the male to “ask his date for a kiss,” I heard the athletes next to me whispering comments: “He would never score in real life,” “Oh my god, no way he’s gunna kiss her,” and, “Get a room you two!”
When we were discussing our thoughts at the end of presentation, my friend conceded that, “The way the speaker portrayed sexual assault is a major part of the issue itself, in which that it isn’t taken seriously.” I couldn’t have agreed more.
The speaker, faculty, and Oriflamme leaders all made it clear that at any time, any student is allowed to get up and leave the presentation if any part of it was triggering. What they didn’t consider is how obvious this action would be. Imagine 2,000 people all seated in one room, but then a student stands up. All the heads turn. Now, imagine the pain of either sitting through a presentation about sexual assault after experiencing it yourself or having everyone see you leave the presentation now knowing that you are triggered for a reason.
The end of the presentation is what surprised me the most, when the speaker offered a pair of “hot” boxers and “hot” shorts to any volunteer who told him what they learned throughout the presentation. If a speaker needs to raffle off items, especially ones of intimacy, just to see if he made his point across, then he wasn’t effective enough.
The speaker of “Can I Kiss You?” was a great spokesman. He got the students’ brains turning by asking some intense rhetorical questions, but he took it too far for this sensitive topic. I stumbled with the idea of creating an active environment during this presentation because I understood it kept the audience intrigued, but sexual assault is not a topic to sugar-coat or role play. Rather than raffling off the undergarments, perhaps he could’ve chosen other items. As humorous as the presentation might have been to you, your friend might have thought otherwise.
Sexual assault is easy to laugh and joke about until you or a friend experience it.
Thank you, Saint Louis University for putting forth your effort in creating a positive atmosphere. I do think this presentation resonated with a great number of fellow Billikens, but I feel as if the presentation should have been more considerate towards those previously or currently involved in sexual assault. If you or anyone you know struggles/struggled with sexual assault, do not hesitate to reach out to your school’s faculty. People are here to help you.
Click here to be directed to SLU’s Title IX Page, which contains resources for survivors.