As human beings, we notoriously hate change. We cling to the comfort of childhood TV shows, songs from years of teenage angst and our beloved family pets. So when someone says “You’ve Changed” our gut reaction is to clench our jaw and tighten our fists. At least, that’s what I did when I first heard it.
As my highschool experience was coming to an end, I found the thrill of one door closing, another door opening to fuel me with the courage to break outside of the mold I had so carefully curated all of those years. Fueled by rebellion and a little sass, this transformation began with questioning the reasonings of overbearing and biased administration. Then, it stepped into asserting myself in friendships that had become outdated and one sided, and flourishing within friendships that felt warm, mutual and exciting. A shift was brewing, and the discomfort of it all only propelled me into a thriving force of nature.
Of course, the resistance of this transformation was met with stark and cold resistance from individuals who had benefited from my people-pleasing habits and lack of personal boundaries. Statements such as “What’s gotten into you?” and “You were never like this before” left me questioning the intentions behind growing out of my old self. However, I was grounded by the fact that those who truly loved me and cared for my well being applauded my newfound confidence and self-assured ways. I was growing into myself and the passionate authenticity led me to expand beyond highschool and into a diverse community.
Beginning my first year of Saint Louis University confirmed that this was exactly the place I needed to be to grow into myself in every capacity. The excitement of college was felt in every walk down West Pine, every basketball game and every sorority event with all of my newfound sisters. I had finally met the people who celebrated my aspirations and character instead of looking down upon it. The thrill of firsts drove me to experiment with all of the joys and experiences college has to offer.
The intricate and exciting years of young adulthood thrive within an environment that nurtures every aspect of one’s character. I always struggled with the restriction that I could only choose one personality, and carefully curate it to please those around me. However, the realization of embracing myself in the kaleidoscope of who I truly am has sparked my passion, creativity and relationships. I can be both polite, yet passionate when arguing beliefs close to my heart. I can embrace my childlike, fun loving side and also hold space for moments of depth of intensity. I can be humble and understand the greatness of others, while also being proud of myself and my achievements.
As I continue through my sophomore year at Saint Louis University, I thank the growth and transformation for leading me to where I am today. My multifaceted personality allows me to engage in a wide range of experiences, relationships and studies. Now, when someone says “You’ve Changed”, I take it as a testament to my self discovery and the raw authenticity I strive to seek within myself and others.