Every 62 minutes, at least 1 person dies as a direct result of an eating disorder, according to the National Association of Anorexia and Associated Disorders.
These deadly illnesses are ridiculously dangerous and equally misunderstood, so today, in honor of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week and as an anorexia survivor myself, I thought that I would tackle the misconceptions that society has about EDs and set the record straight.
I asked all of you for questions on my Instagram accounts and chose a few to answer.
Without further ado, let’s dive in and make some order of these disorders.
At what point do you realize that you have an eating disorder?
My eating disorder, like many, started because my life felt out of control. I ached to be able to regain some aspect of autonomy over my life, so I began to manipulate food. And it felt safe, for a while. It was a distraction, a subsection of myself under perfectly pristine regulation; when I felt like things were going wrong, I could make my diet go “right.” For the longest time, it didn’t feel like a problem, and honestly, society perpetuated that false idea by calling my strictly organic diet and intense exercise regime “healthy” or a marker of “dedication.” I think I realized I had an eating disorder when my symptoms began to manifest physically as weight loss, fainting episodes, low energy, and chronic insomnia and headaches. When I tried to start eating regularly again in order to eliminate these symptoms, I couldn’t do it. My anxiety around food was too bad and my negative self-talk was too strong. It was then that I realized that control is a two-way street. You can’t be “in control” of something if you’re unable to stop it. Once it gets to that point, the thing in question is controlling you.
What triggers you?
DIET TALK. I don’t want to hear about your new diet, or how many hours you spend at the gym, or how you’re cutting out carbs. That can lead me to believe that I should hop on the trend with you, and for me, as someone with an ED, that can be ridiculously dangerous, as I can take it too far. I also get triggered very easily when people comment on my body. Even being told that we look “healthy” can be detrimental to people with eating disorders, as our illnesses can distort that to mean “fat.” Try using phrases like, “You look so radiant!” or “I can see the life and joy shining out of you!” in place of “You look so healthy!” It really makes all the difference for someone with an ED to have the focus shifted from our bodies to our souls.
Oh, and if you’re reaching for a cookie, never, ever say, “I shouldn’t, but…” Yes, you should. It’s just food, Sharon. You’re not robbing a convenience store at gunpoint. Now that you shouldn’t do. But I’m pretty sure that, um, eating is okay.
Would you consider consciousness regarding weight and calories as an issue?
In my opinion, it becomes an issue if it makes you feel anxious or inadequate. Do you feel guilty if you have a “cheat day”? Does gaining a pound or two give you feelings of worthlessness? Does the thought of skipping a day of exercise make you nervous? If so, then yes, you have a problem. But in general, being aware of your weight is healthy. We simply need to work to reduce the stigma around weight as an indicator of any sort of personal success or failure, or as a defining factor of our wellbeing.
Are there different levels of eating disorders (different severities)?
Yes and no. All eating disorders are severe, simply because of how quickly they can wreak havoc on your health. Of course, some progress further and can lead to hospitalization, while others can go on for months without anyone noticing. It all depends on the type of eating disorder and the symptoms involved. But all are severe. All are deserving of help and resolve.
How do you handle people that tell you that eating disorders are a choice?
No one chooses blue nails and brittle hair that falls out in clumps. No one chooses scarred knuckles, bruised knees, and bile burning into the back of their throat. No one chooses bones that protrude to the point where it hurts to sit down. No one chooses to have a break down over a single apple. No one chooses to work out for five or more hours a day, to the point of physical collapse. No one who is healthy chooses death over life. It goes against human nature. It goes against all rationality. Eating disorders are illnesses; only illnesses would make people act on such behaviors.
Would someone with an eating disorder admit that they have one?
It’s unlikely. Denial is a major symptom. It’s hard to admit that you have a problem. Be patient with your loved ones and seek professional help for them. Therapists, dieticians, and doctors can help us come to terms with our disorders and work actively to overcome them.
How can we support and help friends with eating disorders?
My best advice is some of the hardest to follow: don’t try to fix them. Just be there to listen to and to love on them. Show them how much they mean to you, in little notes, in kind gestures, and in verbal affirmations. Gently help them to seek professional guidance. Sit with them during meals and invite them to go eat, even if they decline your offers at first. We don’t expect you to cure us, but we need you to be there for us.
What’s one thing that you wish people knew about eating disorders?
They are not one bit defined by how much a person weighs. I have been underweight and at a “normal” weight, and in both places, I was just as sick. Many people struggling with eating disorders are even “overweight;” binge eating disorder is just as valid as anorexia, and OSFED (otherwise specified feeding or eating disorder) is just as valid as bulimia. Not everyone appears to be skeletal. EDs are behavioral, not weight-defined disorders.
If you or someone that you know is struggling with an eating disorder, call the free NEDA helpline for more information: (800)-931-2237.