In trying really hard to think positively about this whole Kavanaugh shitshow, I will say that a few good things have/will come from this massive injustice: 1. I am confident that Dr. Ford (and countless other sexual assault survivors) will be avenged come November 6th, and 2. Twitter has been absolutely poppin’ with some incredible content reacting to Kavanaugh’s nomination and appointment.
So here’s a collection of tweets—some hilarious, some haunting—to help you gear up for election day:
scary times for dudes indeed. went for a walk last night and was so wary of false allegations being levied against me from a passing car i couldn’t even wear headphones
— rob whisman (@robwhisman) October 6, 2018
If you’re a man who’s never pawed, groped, assaulted a woman, you are normal. Not good, not great.
This is how normal people behave.
— Ray Stings (@Purba_Ray) October 5, 2018
Too bad Kavanaugh didn’t automatically self-shred when the vote passed
— Jason McGraw (@JasonPMcGraw) October 6, 2018
He’s holding down the Bible so it won’t scream pic.twitter.com/l6FEYXEvj2
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) October 7, 2018
“I was hit by a car”
“I believe you. Something happened”
“I was hit by a car”
“You have bruises. Internal injuries. You are compelling”
“Car hit me”
“But I can not say if a car hit you”
“Maybe you fell out a tree”
“Off a bike”
“A car hit—”
“Point is: I believe you” https://t.co/l1eBr6QWed
— Ben Dreyfuss (@bendreyfuss) October 7, 2018
So the women with two Master’s degrees and a PhD is too dumb to know who ASSAULTED her but the drunk frat boy has a perfect memory? https://t.co/zr9aKSdKw7
— Mikel Jollett (@Mikel_Jollett) October 7, 2018
i just keep thinking about kavanaugh sneering “what goes around comes around”
— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) October 6, 2018
Even if Brett Kavanaugh is innocent — which I do not believe — ALL he had to do to bolster the appearance of judicial fitness was to keep his cool for just a few hours. Only a few hours of even-tempered composure. That’s it. He couldn’t. He is unfit for the sobriety of this job.
— Seth MacFarlane (@SethMacFarlane) October 6, 2018
Thank you, Dr. Ford, for your courage. Your testimony did not change the outcome — these GOP Senators were not interested in the truth — but it did change the country. You have inspired millions of Americans, women and men.
We will not forget your bravery.
Or their cowardice.
— Adam Schiff (@RepAdamSchiff) October 6, 2018
Congrats on getting away with it https://t.co/rdLi1OIT5V
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) October 6, 2018
Stop telling young people voting is cool. It’s not cool, it’s just something you do. Calling your Senator and telling them they can eat your entire ass, now that’s cool.
— Cody Johnston (@drmistercody) October 6, 2018
Kavanaugh will be the 114th Supreme Court justice in US History.
108 have been white men.
Four have been women.
Three have been nonwhite.
Only one has been a woman of color, which is now less than the amount of men who have been confirmed amid sexual misconduct allegations
— Astead (@AsteadWesley) October 6, 2018
Sure sex is great but have you tried voting out Republicans?
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 6, 2018
It’s not that they didn’t believe her. It’s that they just didn’t care.
— Susan Hennessey (@Susan_Hennessey) October 6, 2018
donald trump was accused of sexual assault and became president of the united states
brett kavanagh was accused of sexual assault and became a lifelong judge on the highest court of the nation
don’t ever fucking tell me that accusations ruin a man’s life.
— claudia (@cprandoni_) October 6, 2018
You know you’re the good guys when you’re having a “Take that, rape victims!” party https://t.co/XiKWKEFw5c
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) October 7, 2018
“Entire political party happy because sexual assault victims are sad” will certainly play well in history books
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) October 6, 2018
Look, I know it’s tempting to angrily shout at U.S. senators, but remember, the only thing it’ll get you is a seat on the Supreme Court
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) October 6, 2018
Brett kavanaugh isn’t qualified to sit in the exit row on a plane
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) October 6, 2018
Well guys, hopefully you’re getting trashed tonight and noting all the crimes you didn’t commit on your calendars so you can get that big job promotion too.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) October 6, 2018
Brett is sorry he went too far, but also wants you to know that it’s really your fault for making him so angry.
— Matthew Yglesias (@mattyglesias) October 5, 2018
BREAKING: Jeff Flake open to being visited by three ghosts before making final decision pic.twitter.com/KueM72Twdi
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) October 5, 2018
This is a terrible time to be named Brett Kavanagh
— Brett Kavanagh (@Brett_Kavanagh) October 6, 2018
a haunted house for white men where they just get held accountable for their actions
— looking for new enemies (@BUGPOSTING) October 3, 2018
I’m watching Senator McConnell’s defense of Judge Kavanaugh, and truly, it’s like reading 1984. The facts are not the facts. Don’t trust what you saw and heard. Listen to & believe the party.
— Joyce Alene (@JoyceWhiteVance) October 4, 2018
FBI: Did you do it?
FBI: Good enough for us!
KAVANAUGH: I went to Yale
FBI: Oooh we’ll write down “Extra didn’t do it”
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) October 4, 2018
A woman comes forward to confront her sexual assaulter. And she ends up mocked by the President of the United States.
I’m sorry. This might be the fucking end of days.
— Bryan Behar (@bryanbehar) October 3, 2018
Literally 100% of the Americans currently roaring with laughter about traumatic sexual assault are seven weeks away from having a meltdown if it doesn’t say CHRISTMAS on the coffee cup.
— Dave Holmes (@DaveHolmes) October 3, 2018
The Devil’s Triangle is what Mike Pence calls vaginas.
— taking a break from online – vote nov 6! (@jules_su) October 3, 2018
Why are politicians acting like it’s hard to NOT sexually assault someone?
— Vote November 6th (@davidhogg111) October 3, 2018
Dr. Ford showed courage, power, and strength in her testimony. She should be treated with dignity and respect — not demeaned and belittled by the President of the United States.
— Beto O’Rourke (@BetoORourke) October 3, 2018
i think its the sexual assault part we are a little more stuck on idk https://t.co/qNWI2lDOyw
— chris (@chriscaban_) October 2, 2018
Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me with this? What is the purpose of this? Was there no other vitriol you could spew to rile up your base and deepen this country’s divide? You used THIS?? Do you even understand the message you’re sending? Where is your sense of human decency? https://t.co/SdEh7fFLtL
— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) October 3, 2018
“i’M AfRAid of GEttInG FaLsELy aCcUsED”
I’m afraid to walk anywhere alone. I’m afraid of going to my car late at night. I’m afraid of riding Übers alone. I’m afraid of getting too close to older men. Your fear of facing claims doesn’t compare to the fear girls feel just living.
— kj (@kjerstiswanson) September 30, 2018
If a guy says he’s nervous about #MeToo, just remind him that we come down pretty hard on murderers too, and ask him why that doesn’t make him nervous. If he says, “Because I haven’t murdered anyone,” then you’ve learned something new about your friend.
— F, Scary, Abraham (@NeverOnBrand) October 1, 2018
Somewhere in America, a teenage girl is listening to her parents defend Brett Kavanaugh and she is thinking to herself, “If something like that ever happens to me, I have nowhere to go.”
— Todd Halloween (@todd_holloman) September 26, 2018
Everyone dont forget to mark your calendars with the days you are innocent and the days you arent
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) September 29, 2018
When I say I want to “burn Lindsay Graham’s house to the ground,” I am of course referring to a very popular drinking game that everyone knows about.
— Joel Kim Booster (@ihatejoelkim) September 27, 2018
Today a red traffic light stopped me and to defeat it I yelled “I WENT TO YALE.”
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) September 29, 2018
Raise your hand if you’ve ever dated an abusive man that yelled when he was accused, cried when he got caught and somehow it was always your fault.
— Giulia Rozzi (@GiuliaRozzi) September 27, 2018
Cool so you don’t understand
3. Trans Women
4. Bathroom Stall Doors https://t.co/Ps9TjjNlBl
— sarah shower (@SJSchauer) September 28, 2018
republicans: we like this guy
everyone: the rapey one?
republicans: the ALLEGEDLY rapey one
republicans: the uterus is a liar’s organ
— Spooky Skoog (@Skoogeth) September 27, 2018
You wouldn’t hire somebody who talks and acts and thinks this way to man your cash register. And Republicans want to ram him through to determine who has rights and who doesn’t, who has power and who doesn’t, for the next 40 years.
— Cody Keenan (@codykeenan) September 28, 2018
You’ve heard of “I have black friends, I’m not racist”
Now get ready for: https://t.co/c8g3U3BLcK
— Katastrophe ? (@KlassicKat229) September 27, 2018
Ford: I have been in pain for 36 years
GOP: is it possible your pain was caused by something else?
Kavanaugh: the past 10 days have been hell
GOP: this is an outrage. you have been treated unfairly
— tc (@chillmage) September 27, 2018
every woman in this pic tho pic.twitter.com/6Y2SvY4YlU
— Gustavo Luis (@verygooster) September 27, 2018
I AM A VIRGIN WITH A CALENDAR pic.twitter.com/bkgiOE2tAV
— Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) September 27, 2018
(Through tears, yelling ) I like beer, I drink beer, I love beer, drink beer, yeah beer’
– Supreme Court nominee
— h. jon benjamin (@HJBenjamin) September 27, 2018
Everyone talks about Kavanaugh’s great intellect but dude had to remind himself to come home from the beach pic.twitter.com/EHOkOqFMPD
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) September 27, 2018
Brock Turners grow up to be Brett Kavanaughs who make the rules for Brock Turners.
— feminist next door (@emrazz) September 27, 2018
The thing that kills me about people who question the timing of Kavanaugh’s victims: It IS about timing. I don’t want to bare details of my sexual assault, but if my assailant was being nominated for the highest court of the land with a life term, THAT’S THE TIME I’D COME FORWARD
— Melissa Hunter (@melissaFTW) September 25, 2018
I can’t believe this needs to be said but, please don’t let President Pussy Grab appoint Justice Gang Rape
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) September 26, 2018
The literal isolated fact that Kavanaugh has “HAVE YOU BOOFED YET?” on his yearbook page & also claimed he spent HS focused on service projects & church should be a disqualification on the basis of being incredibly full of shit
— Jia Tolentino (@jiatolentino) September 25, 2018
Weird flex but ok https://t.co/zyVQ8Oj0xo
— sarah shower (@SJSchauer) September 24, 2018
“How can you call Ted Bundy a killer when there are literally millions of people he DIDN’T kill?” https://t.co/mrWugYEwvJ
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) September 14, 2018
So let me make sure I have this right…
If a young man sexually assaults someone, he shouldn’t have to pay for it the rest of life..
If you’re a young woman and you get pregnant as a result of sexual assault, you should.
Right? Are we clear?
— ˢᵀᴬᶜᴵᴱ (@TheChickLivesOn) September 22, 2018
Who among us hasn’t casually held onto a calendar from 1982 just in case we suddenly need to try and prove we didn’t get all assaulty at a party?
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) September 23, 2018
Letting our daughters be sexually assaulted to own the libs https://t.co/OM3ZY0gG63
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) September 23, 2018
For a guy who’s a judge, Brett Kavanaugh seems to really hate the idea of going through a fair, methodical process where information is gathered and opposing points of view are expressed so that we can find out the truth.
— Bradley Whitford (@WhitfordBradley) September 21, 2018
I keep having the depressing thought that it’s possible that Kavanaugh isn’t exactly lying about Blasey Ford, but that women’s lives just mean so little to him that he tried to rape her and then completely forgot about it.
— Moira Donegan (@MoiraDonegan) September 19, 2018
Call me crazy, but I think having 17 year-olds worry that any sexual assault they commit now might follow them around for the rest of their lives would be a GREAT thing
— Ben Wexler (@mrbenwexler) September 17, 2018
One last important post that I’ll direct you to is Halsey’s “A Story Like Mine,” a poem/speech she gave during the Women’s March in New York City earlier this year. Although this work preceded all the Kavanaugh allegations by several months, the message is still painfully relevant in the wake of them.
She closes by saying the following:
“We are not free until all of us are free
So love your neighbor, please treat her kindly
Ask her her story and then shut up and listen
Black, Asian, poor, wealthy, trans, cis, Muslim, Christian
Listen, listen and then yell at the top of your lungs
Be a voice for all those who have prisoner tongues
For the people who had to grow up way too young
There is work to be done
There are songs to be sung
Lord knows there’s a war to be won”
And there is. This is a difficult and dangerous time in our country for so, so many people. But it’s not enough to dismiss or disregard sexual harassment and assault by saying “boys will be boys.” It’s not enough to tell women that their outfits and actions make them more or less assaultable. It’s not enough to suggest that they should cover their drinks, run without their headphones, and walk with their keys between their fingers. What we are doing is not enough, and this fight does not start or end with Kavanaugh.
We can do better. We can be better.