I met my boyfriend around three years ago and we have been dating ever since. We are like every other couple except for the fact that we live over 500 miles away from each other. In these past three years we have had our fair share of ups and downs but always end up becoming stronger together. However, when we started dating I did not have anyone to go to for long distance relationship advice. So, these are five things that I have learned that are essential in making a long distance relationship work!
- Is this what you want?
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I will not lie—being in a long distance relationship is hard, and not being able to see someone you love for weeks or months at a time can be extremely difficult. Not having normal dates and only being able to see someone through a phone screen is your day-to-day. However, that being said, if it is something you want to do then you can do it. I remember having the same debate in my head and thinking that this relationship would not last. But at some point I figured out this is something I want and will fight for. I have persevered, and I am extremely glad I did.
- Communication is key
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While this is the bedrock of any good relationship it becomes immensely more important in a long distance relationship. Not only communicating about your needs in a relationship but how you communicate is an important thing to discuss as well. Are you and your partner a FaceTime couple, a phone call couple, a texting couple or a combination? This is very important to find out early in the relationship so you both know each other’s preferences. It is also important to figure out how often you will be communicating. Being in a long distance relationship can get extremely hard when expectations are not set and this ultimately leads to overthinking and fights about things that can be easily solved.
- Finding time for yourself and your friends
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Being in a long distance relationship made it, in my case, easy to balance my friends and my boyfriend as they each had their own times. Balancing your time is something essential in long distance relationships and honestly in every relationship. You do not want to be talking to your significant other all day and lose friends, and you do not want to never talk to your significant other and always be out. It is really easy to fall into one of these extremes, so it is something you need to be constantly aware of or make a schedule of how to divide your time so everyone, especially you, is happy.
- Set expectations!
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This goes along with expectations about communicating but it goes beyond, as well: for example, when you will see each other and how often you want this to be. As my boyfriend and I are in college we see each other around once a month for around three or four days; that is what works for us but find what works for you, whether it is more or less.
- It is a lot of work…
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But it is well worth it if you can make it work. When you live in separate spaces and live for so long it is understandable to feel confused about your relationship. So it is important to make sure you and your partner are getting lots of love and attention, and each of you has their own lives as they should in any relationship.
These are my five tips that I have incorporated into my relationship and have helped me a lot. Every relationship is unique so these tips may not work for you or you may need to tweak them. However, I hope these tips offer some guidance!