Officially being a twenty-something is one of those milestones that tends to pass without the bat of an eye. It’s not the glamorous sweet 16, the newfound adulthood of 18 or the celebratory 21, but for me, the gateway into my twenties yearned for manifestation of all of what I desire in the next chapter of my life. Birthdays are still birthdays—even those spent at home with family, bunnies and a small ice cream cake during a pandemic.
So it goes, a non-exhaustive list of some of the most important truths and hard-to-swallow-pills I’ve learned during 20 years on this beautiful planet.
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People will love you, and people will hate you and none of it will have anything to do with you. Other people’s perceptions of you are reflections of them and you could spend the rest of your life trying to please other people, all in the sacrifice of losing yourself.
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If you’ve done it before, you can do it again. This simple and straightforward mantra has gotten me through challenges when fear takes over. Whether it’s a first date, a brutal exam or a relationship ending, chances are that even when it feels intimidating and overwhelming, you have crossed this path before and you can do it all again with newfound grace and wisdom.
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Never postpone your own happiness. No relationship, fitness goal, university degree or item will ever grant you long and fulfilling happiness. That happiness arrives when you decide that you are worthy of all that is good in the world.
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The energy you exert is the energy you attract. When you allow yourself to be completely authentic and honest in who you are, you will attract the people that feel like sunshine.
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If a conversation is hard, it’s probably the one worth having. The conversations that feel heavy are the ones that we need to get off our chest. Never leave anything unsaid, whether it be love, anger, fear or confusion. If you’re not speaking it, you’re storing it, and that gets heavy.
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The way you present yourself is the way people perceive you. On those days you can’t find the confidence yourself, fake it till you make it. It may even be closer than it seems.
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When someone shows you who they really are, believe them. Change can only happen from oneself, and nobody needs “fixing” and nobody asks to be “fixed.”
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Your body is going to change a million times over. At all sizes and shapes, you are deserving of self love for the body that has climbed mountains, embraced loved ones and enjoyed delicious foods.
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Sometimes you’ll find yourself walking through the doors you once begged would open. Reconnecting with your younger self and holding immense gratitude for all that you have leads to happiness for the next lifetime.
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Hug your mom, your dad, your grandparents and all of those wonderful people that you love. Remember, as you have your whole life ahead of you to create all that you desire, they’ve spent their whole life building that world for you. Understand that their insight has been discovered from a lifetime of experiences, and plenty of mistakes.
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However you’re feeling, I can guarantee that someone else out there feels the same way. Secrets build shame, and “taboo” topics isolate us from our community when we need it most. If you can’t share it for you, share it for someone else because we all need to hold honesty and authenticity within our lives.
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Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have, because it is the foundation of all other relationships in your life. You can’t pour your devotion and affection from an empty cup, you must seek to nurture your relationship with yourself.
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Taylor Swift and time can heal all wounds.
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Love is beautiful and worthy in all forms. Friendship love, familial love and romantic love all deserve respect and attention.
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This life is infinitely more chaotic and intricate than we could ever imagine. You can plan out your life as much as you’d like, but at the end of the day the beauty of the journey is the mystery of it all. Our perspective can be so unbelievably limiting to ourselves and we must trust that the greater good has our best interest in mind, even when we can’t see it.
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Celebrate strong women, celebrate femininity in all forms, celebrate female achievements and female role models. Internalized misogyny runs deep and we must stand in solidarity to honor womanhood and sisterhood each and every day.
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You can never stop a painful ending. If it comes, let it come and if it goes, let it go. As painful as it is, the only guarantee we own in this world is ourselves.
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You are never “too much,” “too little” or too anything. The people that love you will love you for exactly who you are, but only if you’re brave enough to show them.
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We are all the main characters of our own life. Seize opportunities, travel as much as you can, make connections and honor each moment in its entirety. Wouldn’t you rather feel everything at once than be numb to it all?
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The light that you see shining in others is shining in you too. Everything will be quite alright, I promise.