When I was younger, I was told that success is whatever you define it. What does that really mean? Some may think of success as straight A’s, a perfect resume, and a five-year plan. They think that if they stay productive enough, they’d eventually arrive at a version of themselves that had everything figured out. But I learned that in my 20s, success isn’t a destination – it’s something that changes with every season of growth. Success is whatever you define it.
To give an illustration of what it means to define success for yourself is the entire college dream craze. Someone’s dream college could be Harvard, but they got into Yale. To an outsider this is a great outcome either way because both are great schools. To the student whose dream was to go to Harvard, they view themselves as a failure because they had a specific goal that they did not reach.
Do you see where I’m getting at? No? Okay, here’s another example:
Your goal is to go to the gym five days a week for the first month, but instead you workout 3 days a week. Even though you are making good progress for your first month, you feel like a failure because you did not reach your goal. If you just want to be active for the fun of it then three days should be fine. It all depends on your fitness goals.
Perhaps, we will be satisfied with our achievements if we don’t keep our goals or define success in rigid ways. We should keep our goals flexible and shift them to fit our current reality rather than forcing reality to go our way.
Moving on, college often makes it feel like everyone around you has a clear path. Whether it is going to graduate school, internships, brand partnerships, or start-ups. Meanwhile you’re trying to figure out how to maintain your mental health while juggling work and academics. It is easy to feel behind when your success is measured by how visible your achievements are.
For me, our 20s are meant for redefining what “winning” means. There is power in slow progress and choosing fulfillment over comparison. Maybe success isn’t the school name or prestige, it’s not the GPA, or next opportunity – it’s the peace you feel when you realize you’re already becoming who you’re meant to be.