The Power Of The Tongue

Peace and conflict are in between the power of the tongue. People may react differently depending on the tone of your voice or the vocabulary you use. Relationships can grow as close as roots holding up a tree or as far as the ocean stretches. Many of us speak freely without realizing the harm we cause to others that can come from unfiltered speech… or even to ourselves. 

There is wisdom in silence; there is also peace. This semester has been rewarding, yet so tiresome that I only speak when needed just to save energy. When this happens, I find the majority of things I wish to say aren’t even that important, and I am glad that I kept my thoughts in my head. Sometimes I don’t need to talk about the favorite part of my day, the winter boots I’ve been eyeing, or the next blog I’m planning on writing. These aren’t terrible to share (literally nothing wrong with it!), but sometimes it’s good to keep information to yourself. It’s good to cherish. 

Enough with my anecdote… Here are some lessons I learned from an Islamic lecture with a little bit of my own commentary in the mix (and NO, you don’t have to be Muslim for this to appeal to you). 

THE DISCIPLINE OF SILENCE: 

Restraining your tongue is not weakness; it’s strength. It’s the quiet confidence to know that not every thought needs to be spoken. Words can start wars, ruin reputations, and start unnecessary conflict. 

Think before you speak, type, or post. Learn who you’re speaking to because every individual or group reacts in a different way. Every form of communication holds some type of weight – even casual words can lead to consequences in ways we don’t intend. 

None of us are perfect, and sometimes a situation will make an unexpected turn. All we can do is control our own actions and hope for the best with the rest. 

KNOWING WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW

It’s okay to say “I don’t know” instead of making up an answer in your head. Continue to say I don’t know until you are sure of yourself to not spread misinformation. 

Many people speak on topics they barely understand, from global issues to personal situations. In academics we’re told to back up our claims and cite sources for even a simple fact as ‘the sun is a star.’ The same standard should be applied to our conversations. If we lack enough information, silence is better than speculation. 

THE CONSEQUENCE OF CARELESS SPEECH

Gossiping, spreading rumors, and mocking others may seem careless in the moment, but it damages character and relationships. When you speak when you’re bored, you might overshare information about yourself that you should’ve kept sacred. It’s not even for the protection of others using information against you, but the fact that you should practice the discipline to share only what is necessary. Not everyone needs to know everything about you, and perhaps even not everyone cares about every detail. 

Even if you’re not into gossip, you might slip into spreading misinformation, speaking harshly, sharing a secret you didn’t know was a secret, or telling inappropriate jokes. 

IMPORTANT NOTE: THE POINT ISN’T TO BE PERFECT, IT’S TO BE INTENTIONAL! 

THE SAFETY AND STRENGTH IN SILENCE

Although there are times when observing injustice and feeling the necessity of speaking up, there are also times when there is safety in silence. 

Silence gives space for understanding, for properly formulating thoughts before speaking, for protecting your peace during conflict or even ease. It’s not avoidance, but maturity. The more disciplined and honest we become, the easier silence feels. We become honest with our thoughts, emotions, and we don’t react harshly. 

Think of every word being used for or against you. Let’s choose words that build rather than break. That unite rather than divide. Words that bring clarity into a situation rather than confusion.

Silence is clarity and not emptiness. When we speak, let it be with purpose. When we stay silent, let it bring inner peace before we are ready to take action or speak.