Imposter syndrome usually sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Life feels all great until you finally make a mistake and you start to question yourself. This usually occurs when a sudden shift happens, and the image you have of yourself no longer matches your reality. You were the smartest in your high school, but now in college you feel like you’re average. You’re in a group project where it seems like everyone is smarter, so you stay quiet even when you have good ideas. You’re the first in your family to go to college, and sometimes it feels like you’re figuring everything out while everyone else already knows what to do.
It’s that irritating voice that dismisses all of your accomplishments, telling yourself that you somehow tricked people into thinking you’re capable. Imposter syndrome is especially common among women, people of color, and first-gen students. These are groups that find themselves in rooms without many people that look like them, sound like them, or come from the same background.
In our 20s we are often trying something new, so it is normal to tend to feel like an imposter. We compare ourselves with others who we deem more confident, established, and capable. These feelings rise up when we get a new job, move to a new city, and enter a new phase of adulthood. What we don’t see is the nervousness behind the smiles and the amount of practice and hard work it took to look “put together,” so the people you are comparing yourself to are probably having similar doubts that they have to work through. It takes time to build confidence and get over imposter syndrome.
Here are ways I have muted that inner critique:
- Have the mindset of “You’re in the same room as them, so you’re just as qualified.” Clearly, others see your talents and that is why they have granted you opportunities.
- Celebrate small wins. Buy yourself a gift, throw a small get together, write down your accomplishments no matter how small they are. When you track how well you are doing, you can go back to your journal, the gift you bought, the pictures you took at the gathering and see how far you’ve come.
- Remember your “why.” You wouldn’t be worried about comparing yourself to others if you remembered why you started this journey in the first place. Everyone has different passions and reasonings to follow the route they chose. It does not make sense to focus on the person next to you when you all do not have the same goals.The goals may be similar, but never the same.
- Compare yourself to the person you were before and not others. I live with the rule of comparing myself to the person I was yesterday. This helps boost confidence because I am observing how I have improved as an individual and this gives me momentum to continue striving higher. As we all know, comparison is the thief of joy.
Imposter syndrome does not disappear overnight, but by taking actionable steps to shift your mindset to a growth mindset, with time it will ease down. Learning to recognize the thoughts when they appear is the first step to take so the thoughts may not have power over you. You already deserve the place you’re in, you do not need to prove it with words because your actions speak for itself. You work hard, earned your place, and continue to grow everyday. I believe this mindset shift should be mastered in your 20s. Others see how amazing you are and you should too!