There will inevitably come a point in time where you stop talking to someone that you really liked or face a breakup. This journey is usually long and tiresome, often taking several months. At some point, you may be a few months in and realize you’re far from getting over him. I can’t tell you what will work for everyone, but I can tell you what finally worked for me.
From personal experience and viewing my friends’ breakups, most of the time when someone does not move on, it is because they enable themselves, oftentimes living in the past as if they and this person are still together. This includes things such as social media stalking, fantasizing about what could have been, or leaving the door open. Additionally, looking to see what new girls they followed or what new TikToks they have reposted have left me and many of my loved ones drained. One day you’re bound to find something you don’t like, and not only will it hurt, but it will potentially disrupt the healing process.
The phrase ignorance is bliss is something I truly think helped in my process of moving on. While harsh to hear at first, I found it best to not concern myself with him anymore. Eventually, I did hit the block button. While it was extremely difficult, it helped to close that door that I had been leaving cracked open.
Reflecting as a whole on how you are currently living your life is something I unexpectedly found helpful in the process too. Sometimes we don’t even realize that we are blocking ourselves from moving on. An example of this could be talking about the situation over and over again like I did. While it is not bad to vent about your feelings, for me, it got to the point where it was not healthy.
Along with shutting the door, I gave myself grace. Getting over someone is not an easy process and is often filled with a whirlwind of emotions, including those of embarrassment and shame. The reality is it’s not embarrassing, it’s completely normal, you created a strong emotional bond with someone just for it to disappear. All it means is that you have a big heart, and you were hopeful. That is nothing to shy away from. Reminding myself that everyone’s healing journey is different and that it is okay to still be grieving someone for longer than you expected/were together for was beneficial.
Something that I also reminded myself and my friends of is that there are so many people out there who are cute, charming, sweet and have the same qualities, if not more and better, who will actually care about you. You just have to be patient. In my experience, good things come when you wait, but staying stuck over someone stops you from potentially meeting someone great.
During this time, it helped a lot to surround myself with friends and get out of bed even if I wanted to lie in my room all day. It is healthy and in your best interest to remain social and maintain your relationships, according to Tribeca Therapy. I also adopted a meaningful hobby. It was not the full solution, but it kept me occupied, and was a good step towards the right direction.
Regardless of how long it takes, you will get over him! I know it feels impossible now, but there will come a time when you no longer think of him before you go to bed, or right when you wake up. In my experience my healing really started when I began to live in the present and continue to have meaningful relationships, hobbies, and have patience with myself.
Source:
https://tribecatherapy.com/blog/dont-hide-after-breakup-you-need-your-friends-family-and-therapist