I spent this weekend feeling pretty under the weather. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, too, so it was even more of a bummer than a typical sick weekend would have been. I spent a lot of time on the couch and in my bed binge watching my favorite show, Pretty Little Liars, which, thank God, is on Netflix. I felt it was perfectly spooky and just nightmare-inducing enough to celebrate Halloweekend. Plus, I’m pretty emo about the whole thing ending. I have a lot of thoughts about this ridiculous, incredible, unbelievable, unbelievably loveable show, and very few friends who watch the show to share these thoughts with. Below are just ten of them.
(PS – These thoughts contain a few spoilers for the earlier seasons of PLL. If you haven’t watched the whole show yet and don’t want it spoiled, close out now.)
- “Oh my God, you’re literally in your mid-late 20s. Literally no one believes you’re in high school.” The Liars are in high school for the vast majority of the show while the actresses are mostly in their mid, now late, twenties, but this becomes particularly unbelievable in the first half of season six, when they’re planning for prom and Spencer is thinking about accepting valedictorian. At one point, when discussing scholarships, Hanna sighs, “We haven’t even graduated high school yet!” I literally said “oh my god,” out loud. There is no way someone who looks like Ashley Benson would be in high school. Sorry.
- “In real life, Ezra and Aria are, like, barely even three years apart. This is ridiculous.” How on Earth does Ezra Fitz look old enough to be Aria’s teacher?! He’d have to be at least five years older than her, and they look exactly the same age. Or maybe how on Earth does Aria look like a sixteen year old?! Whichever it is, there’s no way I believe that those two are supposed to be at least five years apart. Literally no way.
- “HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE?!” The dumb stuff these girls do knows no bounds. You’ve just been rescued from your kidnapper’s lair and now you’re exploring an abandoned mental hospital alone, Spencer and Hanna? Seriously? I mean, like, actually? How stupid can you be?
- “Does Emily have to date literally every single girl who looks at her twice?” This needs no explanation. As soon as someone has a solo scene with Emily, there’s no doubt in my mind that they’re going to date. Chill, girl. Not that it’s wrong to date around, and not that I’m slut shaming, but this has become a pretty boring plot device.
- “I still have no sympathy for Ali.” Sorry not sorry.
- “WHY would you trust ANYTHING Mona says EVER?!” This always backfires.
- “Toby kind of looks like handsome Squidward.” Don’t challenge me on this.
- “I hate Ezra. Just kidding I love Ezra. Oh my god, I love Ezra. EZRIA 4EVA.” I hated Ezra so much when it came out that he was writing the book. I thought Aria should never, ever forgive him. I don’t know how, but I – and Aria – eventually did. I love Ezria with my whole heart and soul now, and if they don’t have a happy ending I might never recover.
- “Melissa is literally the worst. Like, the actual worst.” Hashtag no redeeming qualities.
- “Literally this whole show could have been prevented.” THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST BLOCKED THE NUMBER IN THE PILOT! Who the hell answers a creepy message from a blocked number saying, “who is this?!” Literally no one in their right mind. Had these girls just blocked the number, told their parents they were getting weird texts, or just gone to the cops at the start, none of this show would have ever happened. I’m glad it did, though. Thanks for being stupid, girls.