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They will squash any rumors that have trickled down from coveted senior conversations to my little sophomore ears
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They will identify the people that were abroad your freshman year and advise you on whether or not to avoid them
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They know the secret to making Fun Day last past 11 am
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They will be brutally honest about how unrealistic your c.o.t.m. (crush of the moment) is
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They will assure you that no matter what happens on a given weekend, they’ve done worse
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They know what place in town has the best coffee/brunch/pizza/etc..
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They will remind you that a boys’ actions should not define how you feel about yourself and that putting up with mean people is a waste of time
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They will chant: “Drink matcha and enjoy yourself” until you actually listen
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They will accompany you to the place you lost your phone the previous night (a place you do not want to go in broad daylight) and listen to you groan about your mistakes
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They will be there for you whenever you need to vent and will have 3 more years of advice for you to learn from