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Why You Might be Stuck in a “Situationship”

I don’t claim to know everything about relationships, believe me I have to work on mine every day. I know dating can be a struggle especially in this wave of “talking,” DM’s and everything else that comes with our generation’s idea of dating. However, there are some things that i’ve noticed from my peers that I really think could be avoided.

Settling

I hear far too many of my friends complaining that they want to go out on an actual date but instead settle for “Netflix and chill.” If that isn’t what you want then why settle for that? Tell that person that you would rather get to know them on a date rather than at their dorm or apartment room. Money shouldn’t be an excuse. Go somewhere in walking distance, and it doesn’t cost money to stroll around a park or lake.

Unclear expectations

When you fall into the habit of saying one thing but meaning another, how is the person you’re talking to ever going to know that you’re unhappy. They will think you’re fine with how the “relationship” is going, and that’s not fair to either party. Speak and make your expectations clear from the beginning.

Scared

You might be worried that if you voice what you actually want than nobody will want you but you couldn’t be more wrong. Yes, having high standards might weed off a few guys, but that’s how you know they weren’t the right person for you. When someone is truly interested in you they will make the effort to show you. Don’t let the feeling of loneliness lead to you sacrificing the respect you deserve.

Taking things too fast

There’s no need to rush into anything. You need to get to know this person before you call yourself having a relationship with them. Because later on you might find out you don’t really like them but, by now you’re already emotionally invested. Talk to each other, and I don’t just mean texting (anyone can type the right thing). Talking on the phone and seeing how a person acts in real life reveals a lot more than a text message can.

Tiana is a senior at San Jose State University and she is learning to take each day one step at a time while adjusting to life in the Bay Area. She's often watching YouTube videos on D.I.Y projects or hair care, but majority of the time she's watching Parks and Rec episodes while pretending to do homework. In the midst of all that homework dodging she's also casually planning her dream wedding. 
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