TRIGGER WARNING: suicide, depression, suicidal thoughts
Harry Styles, previously known for his part in the British boyband, One Direction and now known for his solo work and movie roles, recently made history by being the first man to be solo on the cover of American Vogue. In many of the pictures, he wore dresses and gowns, something that he has done before.
There was a wide range of responses. Family, friends and longtime fans loved what he wore. Others didn’t like it so much. For example, Candace Owens, a conservative woman with a large platform, stated that it was “the last thing America needs right now”, even though a man wearing a dress isn’t harmful to anyone in any way. On Twitter, she said: “There is no society that can survive without strong men. The East knows this. In the west, the steady feminization of our men at the same time that Marxism is being taught to our children is not a coincidence. Bring back our manly men.”
This statement is so problematic in many different ways. First of all, the first sentence is absolute and makes it seem like femininity equates to weakness (which it doesn’t). In Harry’s case, he is strong both physically and mentally for different reasons.
As someone who is a huge fan of Harry, I follow a lot of what he does. For example, back in 2016, his trainer Ben Bruno, spoke about how strong he is. He can pull more than 500 pounds with a rope with only his upper body, which, according to Bruno, isn’t so common. That in itself shows how physically strong Harry is, but that’s not all.
Harry is incredibly strong, both mentally and emotionally. Back when he was in One Direction, he had expressed that he had a hard time being who he was, stating: “I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who didn’t really care that much about what people thought about them… But I just don’t think I am.” A young boy just hitting the spotlight of stardom was going through some troubling times, and it was truly heartbreaking.
In 2019, he had an interview with Zane Lowe about his sophomore album Fine Line, and at one point he said something that made me sit back and think, “Harry really did it. He’s happy.” He said, “If you’re happy doing what you love, nobody can tell you you’re not successful.” That shows the amount of growth in his self-esteem and confidence in comparison to the scared boy from ten years ago.
I point these things out in response to what Candace Owens stated: “There is no society that can survive without strong men.” She thinks that because a man is dressing a certain way, they aren’t strong, but Harry just proved her wrong. This man is so strong, both physically and mentally, and looks absolutely fantastic while doing it.
With that being said, I wanted to focus on the general problem with the patriarchal trope of “manly men”. It’s okay for someone to be attracted to masculinity. That is their preference. That’s fine, but when you force it onto someone who so clearly is comfortable with who they are, it becomes a problem. “Manly” and “masculine” are two completely different things.
The thing about “manly men” is that it’s derived from the idea that men should think, look and act a certain way. Vulnerability and empathy are considered weak. Embracing femininity is considered weak. When someone says “manly men”, they want a man to be emotionless or torn down for expressing emotion of any kind. Jason Deng talks about the myth of masculinity in his blog post, “What Society Tells Men About Weakness”, and explains what are good ways to fight that trope.
The patriarchy targets men this way, and it can be very dangerous for them. According to Healthy Debate, men are more likely to stay away from getting psychological help because they don’t believe it’s masculine (hence the “the myth of masculinity”). In fact, women maybe three to four times more likely to attempt to kill themselves, but men are far more likely to succeed in it. AFSP states that in 2018, men are 3.56 times more likely to die by suicide.
In fact, gay or transgender men are apart of the more vulnerable group to suicide. I’m not saying Harry Styles is gay, or every single man who dresses with a feminine look is gay. But, society has a way of putting the two into one category as a stereotype, further enforcing harmful and often inaccurate stereotypes.
Once again, Healthy Debate also mentioned that a solution to this issue is addressing the trope of masculinity in society. I’m not saying we have to force all men to wear more feminine clothing, or act differently or anything. We just can’t force masculinity on those who don’t want or prefer it.
Another thing Candace Owens stated was: “The East knows this. In the west, the steady feminization of our men at the same time that Marxism is being taught to our children is not a coincidence.”
Owens speaks of the “East”, presumably Asia as a continent, to be aware of the “importance of masculinity”. And to some extent, she is correct. There are definitely clear cut ideals in cultures all over the world regarding masculinity and male identity. But, just as there are these cookie-cutter ideas of what a man is, there are always those who choose to dress and be perceived regardless of a gender binary. Not to mention, long, dress-like apparel is only really associated with femininity in the modern West. Many other countries, such as India, Africa, Russia and Scotland, have male cultural dresses that consist of long, dress-like tunics.
If we look at apparel from a European standpoint, men wore frilly shirts, luxurious wigs, delicate tights and heels. That was what they considered extremely manly. Romans and Greeks wore togas, which were basically draped dresses.
My point is, we see men in different cultures and time periods wearing more feminine clothing according to Western culture standards. I’m not sure what Owens wanted to prove here, but disregard for gender binary has existed far before the existence of Marxism or a “liberal agenda”.
In summation, men should be allowed to wear what they want and feel good about it, without others tearing them down. Harry Styles looks really good in what he wore for Vogue, and the men who are putting on dresses to show him support look fantastic as well.
We need to change how we view society- we would all be a lot better for it. And as Harry would say, Treat People With Kindness.