Back in August, I attended my cousin’s wedding in Los Angeles.
I was very excited because I was a bridesmaid and I haven’t been to a wedding in years.
However, when I saw their first dance, I was hit with a wave of emotions, the first being happiness and the other being envy.
I was very happy for the couple. I haven’t seen my cousin smile as brightly as she did that day and I’m glad she found someone that could take care of her.
On the other hand, I was very envious of their relationship.
Seeing the way the two of them look at each other made me want someone to look at me like that.
I’m not saying that having a significant other is my top priority in life. I’ve always known that I should focus on myself first before I dive into anything else
Platonic love has been more than enough for me in my life and I am grateful for the people I have in my life.
Platonic and familial love isn’t less important than romantic love, if not more important in a sense.
However, there is always a thought in the back of my mind of what it would be like to have romance in my life.
I’ve never been in a relationship before so it’s something that I’ve been wanting to experience.
I know it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but there’s just a part of me that wants to have someone in my life.
I’ve gone through the natural heartbreak of being rejected and having unrequited love, but I’ve never experienced the opposite.
This isn’t a case of not being in a relationship for a long period of time, but just have never been in a relationship at all.
When you’re not the chosen option, or even considered an option in the first place, it makes you feel like there’s something wrong with you.
The amount of happy couples that appear in the media and are advertised to me just bring a wave of envy around.
I don’t think I’m perfect by any means, but being single when everyone around you has a significant other is really a blow to your self-esteem.
I’m not a confrontational person and dating apps seem really awkward to me at times.
In the end, I don’t let it get to me too much. I have my friends to hang out with and I can always buy myself gifts for Valentine’s Day.
Being single isn’t a bad thing and you shouldn’t force yourself to be in something you don’t want to be in.
If you have a significant other, I’m happy for you and I hope things go well!
If you don’t want to have one at all, that’s cool too and I hope you go live the way you want!
But for me, I’ll wait for my Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet.
There won’t be any guarantees that it will happen, but I wouldn’t stress too much about it.
My fairy tale will start when the time comes and whoever is for me will come when the feeling is right.
Do you have any relationship troubles you want to share? Let us know at @HerCampusSJSU.