School was not a really a happy place for me. I had been in the same school for 15 years, and this was one of the most prestigious schools in Dhaka. I went to an international school, which meant that it was very different from the typical schools one would come across in Bangladesh. Most of the schools in Bangladesh have a conservative atmosphere, one that is in conformity with the Bengali culture. My school, on the other hand, was far from this. It was liberal, a little too liberal I’d say for a school to function in Bangladesh. Although it was wonderful seeing many students and teachers come from many parts of the world as I spent the years in my school, I was not a happy student there.
I won’t explain why I felt this way towards my school because of personal reasons, but I could talk about one of the lessons I had learned after graduating. I learned that it’s never worth trying to please everyone. No matter how badly you want to be their friend or how “cool” they seem to be, if they don’t make an effort to accept you for who you are or are unable to make an attempt to get to know you, they are not worth it. Period.
I remember the times when I really wanted to befriend certain people because I either admired a particular characteristic/personality trait of theirs or they seemed interesting to me. These people, however, did not take me seriously for the most part. They treated me as if I were unimportant and that there were other people around them who were much more worthy of their attention. I was unpopular and very introverted back in school. I had little friends, and most weren’t even from my grade. Since I did not hang out with the “popular” kids, I was out. This, therefore, made it easy for others to start bullying, excluding, mistreating and even ignoring me. I remember that I would do almost anything to get their attention, and when I realized that their feelings towards me weren’t mutual, I was hurt.
I struggled to make genuine friends throughout my school years, and this taught me that it is indeed very difficult to find people who are actually there for you. Those who actually make an effort to get to know you and give you the love and support you need. After graduating, I actually did not want to talk to any of my classmates because of I was hurt and angry about being neglected. During the summer, I decided that I wanted to move on and start fresh. I no longer wanted to have to do anything with my past because of how painful it was. I lost contact with a lot of people from my school, and I have no plans to reconnect with them in the future. I created a new Facebook account which has a very small number of people from my school. I haven’t even seen a good majority of my classmates for 2 years.
After I started university and I reflected on my past quite a lot, I realized that it’s okay that I don’t have a lot of friends from school. I don’t need them in order to be happy. I learned how to respect myself by not trying to fit in with the crowd who, in reality, won’t benefit me in any way, shape, or form. I am selective over the people whom I choose to call my friends, and I’m fine with that. I don’t need to be known by so many people. The people who actually show me that they care about me and are genuine towards me, these are the people whom I call “friends”. Those who invite me to their homes, call and ask if I want to have breakfast with them, pick a particular time of the day to talk to me, are honest with me, include me… these are the people whom I love.