A Comprehensive Ranking of Every Brooklyn Nine-Nine Couple in Honor of Valentine's Day

(tie)     1. Captain Holt and Kevin (and Cheddar!)

    A decades-long romance full of a love language that makes sense only to them? Check. An interracial gay power couple? Check. A really cute corgi?! CHECK.

 

(tie)     1. Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago

Unlike some other shows, B99 didn’t make us wait for these two to end up together. There was very little waffling. Very linear, straightforward. Super cute, really authentic depiction of a good, strong marriage borne out of friendship. Basically, #Peraltiago forever.

 

2. Rosa and that Uber driver played by Gina Rodriguez

UGH how I loved this couple. Actually, “couple” might be a stretch. They had a meet-cute (and cute it was!), and then the Uber driver moved to London apparently. Tragic. Gone too soon.

 

3. Terry Jeffords and Sharon

We don’t see a lot of Sharon, but we do see is amazing, stunning, iconic, beautiful, relationship GOALS.

 

4. Rosa Diaz and Marcus

Maybe I’m biased because I like Rosa and treasure her happiness, but I loved her with Marcus. It was nice to see Rosa a little bit vulnerable, and I was crushed when she decided to break up with Marcus.

 

5. Charles Boyle and Genevieve

 A match made in heaven. We barely see Genevieve, but they have a cute kid and a perfect relationship.

 

6. Charles and Vivian

Despite making everyone around them supremely uncomfortable, they worked really well together. They fizzled out fast, though.

 

7. Rosa Diaz and Adrian Pimento

I liked Adrian! Maybe I’m the only one. But I loved how happy he was with Rosa, and Rosa with him...but I was also glad that they were able to realize that their relationship wasn’t compatible toward the end.

 

8. Charles Boyle and Gina Linetti

This relationship was weird, and bad, and, THANKFULLY, brief. And then they ended up being step-siblings.

 

9. Jake Peralta and Sophia

Any relationship that involves Jake or Amy with someone who isn’t Jake or Amy is just not very enjoyable, and that’s a FACT.

 

10. Amy Santiago and Teddy

Oh, Teddy. You were so, so weird. Stop trying to marry Amy.

 

So that’s my definitive ranking--take to the comments if you disagree, but please understand that this list is non-negotiable. Perhaps the only other acceptable ranking would be every relationship tied for first except for the last three…Tune in Thursdays at 9PM on NBC to see if there are any challengers to the Top 5!