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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Siena chapter.

As most of you know, break-ups can provide both a devastating and enlightening experience. A few months ago, a relationship that I felt was stable and everlasting, fell apart into absolute destruction. All of the love and life that we shared left a bitter taste; a feeling that was all-consuming and impenetrable. Looking at my future, I began to realize that I needed to move on, and that sulking in all of the past memories wasn’t feasible. Although it was far too easy to stay in the corrupt depression, I knew that I had to take the hard steps to move on. 

Moving on from a relationship is almost the same as rebuilding a person, which is exactly what I intended to do. However, I couldn’t bring myself to accept the fact that the relationship was over. Hence, my first step was to act as if I had moved on, even though I still had feelings for my ex-boyfriend. I was hoping that somehow embracing being single would allow me to explore new opportunities, and fall in love with the idea of being myself.

The first sense of relief I felt was when I began to be in the presence of friends. Being around people who genuinely made me happy made me realize that I was a good person, and that I could have fun without a boyfriend. I noticed that the more time that I spent time with friends replaced the time that I spent thinking about the break-up. This furthered my decision to be okay with the fact that I wasn’t in a relationship, because I wasn’t actually alone.

Looking back on it all I have realized that it was okay to admit to myself that the relationship was just not working out. I began to understand that not being with someone had no reflection on my personal self-worth, or the quality of my future. Deciding to feel good about myself gave me a huge sense of relief that served as my source of power for feeling better. Overall, once I comprehended that being okay after my relationship was a choice, I was able to actively make the decision to move on.