I am an 18-year-old virgin in college. I have gotten every kind of shocked look and every question you could possibly imagine. I promise I am not from Mars, and the concept is not as rare as you think. I am still a virgin for various reasons. I have not met anyone that I truly connected with, that I felt comfortable with. I haven’t found anyone that made me want to have sex, that wouldn’t mistreat me and make me feel humiliated. I think that the fear of getting hurt or humiliated and the fear of feeling embarrassment if I wasn’t good enough at sex also helped me avoid it. Sex is meaningful to me, however cliche and corny that sounds, it does. I am showing another person my insecurities, as well as a part of me that no one else sees besides myself. It is one of the most intimate moments in someone’s life, and I think that it should be special for the first time.
Being a virgin in college is very strange. Let me tell you, it’s not a hot conversation piece. It’s strange because you are missing an experience that a majority of people around you have experienced. It’s hard to relate when the topic comes up. For me talking about my virginity is easy, I don’t feel ashamed that I’ve never had sex. I have made the choice to wait until I find someone that I love and care about (I’m not saying all the way until marriage, I’m saying until I meet the right guy). College life, to be abrupt, is somewhat centered on students having lots of sex. At parties hormones are high, and girls are grinding on guys or on each other. At the end of the night, it’s suspected that someone will be going home with another individual to “hook up.” Someone once told me that it wasn’t important who you’re with at a party one night because the next night is a new party and a new guy to be on top of. Now this might not be true for everybody and it’s not my intention to stereotype, that’s just merely from my own experience. My point is to say it’s hard to be a virgin because I am the opposite; I dance with my friends, and I don’t grind with a random guy because, for me, it is uncomfortable. And often times to watch everyone at a party grinding and making out makes me feel like I’m crazy for being a virgin and feeling so introverted.
Many people don’t mind when I tell them I am a virgin. They seem fascinated most of the time, like I am a new breed of girl, and ask as many questions as they can. Others persist that they are gonna help get me “laid” because it’s a crime that I am an 18-year-old virgin in college, to which I reply with a small chuckle and “oh yeah.” Truly, if I really wanted to have sex already I could’ve, but I clearly don’t want to because I haven’t had sex yet and avoided every guy that hit me up for a one night stand. Some boys run when I finally tell them I am a virgin, most likely afraid that I’ll get too attached and I am not saying they are wrong; I don’t know how I’ll feel after. The overall majority reaction is one of shock. They can’t believe that I still have not experienced sex, especially since I am in college. Although I may have made it sound it, being a virgin is not isolating. I have several friends who are virgins just like me. Being a virgin so far has been the right choice for me, and I regret nothing. The most important thing is happiness. As long as you are happy with your choice, whether you’re sexually active or still a virgin, nothing else matters. For other college freshman virgins – be proud of your choice, and know that you’re not alone.