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A letter to the “Mom” of the Group



If you’re reading this either you or someone you know has been called the “mom” of your friend group. At first when you hear this you’re probably thinking, “Wow, I’m the lame friend,” or, “ew, do I act that much more mature.” You are probably also wondering if your friends all think the same thing.

But don’t worry, you’re far from the lame friend. You are called the mom of the group because you are the kindest, but can be cold hearted when need to be. You are there for every one of your friends, even if you’re dealing with your own problems, and it doesn’t matter what time of the day it is. Your friends tend to just open up and tell you their problems, because you will have some type of advice for them.

You are also your friends’ biggest supporters. You probably went to their senior night or all of their games/meets/performances that you could make, and you probably also felt bad if you missed it. If any of your friends feel like quitting, you are the first to give them encouragement and convince them that they are on the right path. You are on their side whether they are right or wrong, and if you know that they are wrong then you try to tell them why. If they win or achieve something, or get a new bae, you get really excited and give your approval whether it is asked for or not. If they are sad, you are sad. If you see a sad tweet or post, you text them immediately to tell them that you love them, and that everything is going to be ok! You are always their shoulder to cry on. You read carefully while they text you paragraph after paragraph about what is making them upset, and try your best to give them your best advice to help them.

You also feel horrible and helpless if you can’t help them at all. LIKE IF THEY ARE SICK HELPLESS BABIES IN PAIN *insert crying emoji face.* That is honestly the worst feeling. I mean, who wants to see or hear their friends go through that? Not me.

But onto more fun things that come when you are the mom of the group. If you are in a relationship, your boyfriend is the “dad” of the group by association, although more than likely he already tells jokes that are only funny to him and like 5 others (dad jokes), and just lets you handle all the huge plans with some assistance. “Family hangouts” are your specialty. You are the one who has everyone’s phone number, and knows when everyone is free on certain days of the week. You plan every hangout, or assist others with their hangouts. You send out the texts or Facebook messages telling everyone what the plan is, whether it is the day of or a week in advance.

You love being surrounded by these lovely friends of yours. When you go places like the beach or an amusement park or hayride or anywhere else, you are always the one to bring a bag with essentials. You’re usually the one who brings food and extra drinks. You bring an extra towel, and many tanning sprays or sun blocks ranging from different SPFs, because you know someone forgot something (aka all of the boys). You are also very cautious with your friends’ allergies or feelings when planning events at places or with certain people as well. When it comes to watching your guy friends do dumb stunts, you always tell them to be careful and close your eyes because if you don’t see it happen, then they didn’t do something idiotic.

Then there are PICTURES – you are the queen of group photos, you want the world to see how amazing and adorable all of your friends are. But on the flip side just because you are the so called mom of the friend group doesn’t mean you can’t do dumb stuff as well. You’re still young and have many years left before it is time for you do actually be the mature adult you act like usually, so don’t forget to have fun as well. Not everything has to be perfect. Also you may feel unappreciated at times or that your friends don’t care for all that you do for them since you go above and beyond but know that they do, they love you as much you love them, they just don’t express it the same ways you do. 

Katey is on her fourth year at Siena College as a psychology major. Her plans are to go grad school and get her masters in School Psychology. Katey enjoys spending time with friends, family and her pets. She is always ready for an adventure. Favorite things are summer, fall, Disney, country, horses, dogs, cats, frogs and food. 
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