By now, most of us have long finished our marathon viewings of Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life and are desperately trying to find excuses to stay in the Stars Hollow world. Do we go back to Season 1 and start it all over again? Do we rewatch the revival? Do we just episode-hop to procrastinate until the end of the semester?
In our case, we chose to imagine what kind of Siena students our favorite Gilmore Girls characters would be if reality and fiction magically collided.
Lorelai Gilmore
Lorelai would post up in the middle of Casey’s ordering coffee after coffee and striking up conversation with anyone that walks by. Her constant obscure references have us convinced she’d be a history major and film minor, writing her capstone on the cultural effects of the New Hollywood movement. Her attachment and pride for Stars Hollow shows she shares the qualities of a Siena-loving SAINT and Ambassador.
Rory Gilmore
Rory works her way up to the editor-in-chief position of The Promethean and spends most of her afternoons hiding amongst the English department staff in Kiernan Hall. She’s a common offender of Saga-sitting and will definitely hog a booth during free period. She and Lorelai will eventually get sick of Casey’s coffee and make a routine of driving to Dunkin Donuts every morning. She owes any resemblance of a social life to Logan who is sure to drag her around MacClosky and Cushing on the weekends.
Luke Danes
Luke would be excited to have a townhouse senior year because it means he can barbecue outside every weekend of September. He’s fine with preparing food for his housemates and a few other friends, but invite some extra people and watch him get red with fury. He’ll grumble about it for a while, but probably still run out to the store to pick up more hamburgers and buns. Luke starts out as an Actuarial Science major because he thinks it’ll involve hiking and fishing, but he’ll become a reluctant Business major so he can earn money someday through his ingenious burger recipes. He’ll attend a meeting or two of Outing Club but then decide it involves too much social interaction for his liking.
Logan Huntzberger
We all know a Logan type at Siena: the wannabe frat boy. He’d be some sort of business major with a triple minor in computer science, Latin, and writing and communications. That Mercedes-Benz you see whipping around campus? Yeah, it’s his and he probably uses it to drive between his classes in Siena Hall and Roger Bacon. He’d be president of DSP, attend all networking functions sponsored by Siena, and hang around The Promethean office annoying Rory. His townhouse full of “Life and Death Brigade” members would be the go-to party destination of the year. The worst part about Logan? You want so badly to hate him, but you can’t.
Jess Mariano
Jess would be that kid in your year that you’ve never even seen until midway through college. He may pop up in one of your fine arts classes and low-key be the best writer / artist / singer in the group, but don’t grow attached – he’ll find a way to announce to the whole class that he’s transferring to some fancy arts school next year and you’ll never see him again. Expect to see him sulking about townhouse parties but still popping up at every big bash ever.
Dean Forester
Dean is still dating his high school girlfriend who goes to school at home, so he’s frequently off campus either visiting her or working at Stewart’s. He also keeps busy as a work-study student in the bookstore. You may be in his friend group and meet the girlfriend the one time she comes to visit, and it’s clear that she’s just stringing Dean along. Dean would be torn in so many different directions academically that he’ll probably stay undeclared for as long as possible and try out three or four different majors.
Taylor Doose
Do you remember that one RA you had that was a hard-ass, but you didn’t completely hate him for ruining your life because he was genuinely a cool guy and had the hall’s best interests in mind? If you do, you must also be imagining Taylor Doose’s green RA name tag. Expect many a lecture about destroyed door tags and bathroom cleanliness, and watch out for insistent knocks on your door when resident survey time rolls around.
Kirk Gleason
Kirk is a creature of Foy Hall through and through. Whether he’s editing his new short film, helping with the upcoming spring production, or singing some Carpenter’s tunes in Dr. Reno’s choir class, Foy is the only place on campus that could handle his eccentric nature.
Miss Patty
Miss Patty is the chill RA that is paired with Taylor for duty to keep him from blowing a gasket. She’s the one you see dancing up a storm alongside her wild roommate Babette at your first big townhouse party, proving that some things can go unsaid between you and your RA. Patty’s programs aren’t to be missed, consisting of watch parties for the NBC live musicals and salsa lessons taught by her friends from Foy (she and Kirk are definitely pals).
Michel Gerard
Michel is one of the international students working towards an American/French dual degree in business. He’s always impeccably clean cut, has a coffee in hand, and kills it in classes everyone else is struggling in. We all want to get to know him, but are too afraid to penetrate the international squad he travels around campus with; if you manage to do so you may think he hates you, but he just has to warm up to you.
Paris Geller
What isn’t Paris involved in? She’s a bio and poli sci double major with god knows how many minors. She’s president of the bio club and pre-law society, tutoring coordinator, class president, involved in SEB, and a student worker at the Franciscan Center. She spends every free minute studying for the LSAT or MCAT, so you’re guaranteed to catch her with a Casey’s salad at her usual table in the quiet section of the library on any given night. Paris probably applied to be a RA early on in college, but the selection committee decided she was already too involved (*cough* too intimidating for underclassmen residents to handle).
Lane Kim
Move over, TIP and Lack of Pat, because if Lane were at Siena, we all know the campus band would be Hep Alien. Every minute Lane doesn’t spend in class, no doubt forced into a bio or physics major by Mrs. Kim, she’s rounding up the rest of the band for impromptu practices and gigs in downtown Albany. Zach and Brian’s townhouse hosts the on-campus weekend shows because there’s no way Rory and Paris will risk getting written up.
Sookie St. James
Sookie is the housemate everyone wants to have senior year because she’ll make the time to prepare full-course dinners every night. She’s the one that will insist on having a Friendsgiving and a Christmas cookie decorating party, and you may even secretly think that she’s a better cook than your mom. Sookie’s likely a Business major and wants to run her own catering company after graduation, so you would have to keep an eye on her stress-cooking habits when finals are coming up.
Max Medina
Max is the one male English major who seems too perfect to be true. He finished the required reading ages ago for fun, can quote Shakespeare, and walks around campus in an immaculate pea coat. He dreams of working as an editor or writer in New York City and is too busy to write for campus publications because he already freelances for actual magazines.
What characters would you want to hang out with?