When I was 14, I began to question my sexuality. Growing up, I went to a Catholic school, where nobody ever talked about sexuality and the fact that not everyone is straight. When I got to high school and my friends and I started talking about dating, we also started talking about different sexualities. I had previously never even thought of the possibility that I was not straight. But all of a sudden, I realized that this was the case.
Unlike some people, I actually came to terms with my sexuality very quickly. When I had first started questioning, it was early October. By Halloween of that same year, I was coming out as bisexual to my three best friends. They were very supportive, and one of them even understood what I was going through, as she was bisexual herself. They gave me the courage to come out to my parents a few weeks after that, and it went well. I am very fortunate to have parents who support me regardless of my sexuality, and encourage me to be who I am.
Even though I had a solid support system between my parents and my friends, I did not tell everyone just yet. There were only a handful more people I told within the next few months. Over the next three years, I had that small group of people who knew the true me, and that was all I needed at the time. They supported me while I struggled to figure out what label I connected with best. Eventually, I discovered the term pansexuality, and it seemed to fit what I felt. So, I started using the term pansexual to describe myself for quite a while.
The day finally came that I was ready to publicly come out. It was nearly two years since gay marriage had been legalized across the country, and people were becoming more and more accepting. On June 5, 2017, which was pansexual pride day for pride month, I decided it was the perfect time to let the whole world know who I was. I had worked up my confidence over the years, and I was comfortable with who I was. I remember that day in vivid details. I made a post to celebrate pan pride day, and posted it on all my social media platforms for everyone I knew to see it. It was just a few minutes before I had to go to work that day, and I had never been in such a good mood. I had messages from so many people showing me their support and telling me they were proud of me.
The things that I felt after coming out are hard to even explain in words. It may be a total cliche, but it felt like a giant weight was lifted off my shoulders. I have never in my life experienced the same feeling of elation that I did on that day. Inside my chest was just full of this strange feeling of overwhelming happiness. I genuinely felt like I was floating the rest of the day. I felt like I no longer had to hide from everyone, I was an open book now.
Ever since that day, I have been a better person. My confidence has skyrocketed now that I am not concealing a big part of myself from everyone. This October will mark six years since I first came out to anyone, and I have never felt better. I am able to be myself around people, and I have learned not to care as much about what people think of me. If I had not publicly come out, I would not be the person I am today. Even if I do not tell someone I’m not straight right away when I meet them, I no longer feel like I’m trapped and hiding something from them like I used to. It is no longer a secret I’m keeping, it’s just a topic that has yet to come up.
Coming out also allowed me to make many more friends. Many of my friends also identify as bisexual, and this allowed me to form a special bond with them unlike any other. While I love all of my friends equally, there is just something about having that connection and knowing this person has been through similar struggles to you. While we are living in a world where being LGBT is much more accepted, it is still not accepted by everyone. Not everyone faces as much acceptance and support as I did when I came out, as sad as that is. I am incredibly grateful for the friends I have made throughout my journey, and I would do absolutely anything for every single one of them.
While I have struggled with labels a few times, I am now able to say with full confidence that I am a proud bisexual woman, and I would not change that for anything. Being openly LGBT has changed my life for the better, and I am thankful for it every day. Coming out can be hard, especially if you do not have a lot of supportive people around you. However, it is important to remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Even if it doesn’t seem like it at times, there is someone out there who cares about you, no matter what. Always stay positive, and be the real you, whoever that may be.