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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

A Girl’s Guide to a Serious Relationship Using Dating Apps

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Siena chapter.

Serious relationships are hard to come by in today’s society. I know a lot of people are on dating apps, like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and okCupid. It can be super frustrating if you are a person that is ready to commit to a serious relationship and you are on dating apps. Trust me, I was on plenty of dating apps trying to find someone who I found compatible with me. For me, it was super frustrating, because I would constantly be spending my time swiping and having conversations with people that didn’t deserve my time. Most people are either looking for a hook-up, or aren’t sure if they want to commit to a serious relationship, which I think is a major problem specifically with our generation. 

Fortunately, I landed myself in a wonderful relationship with my current boyfriend, Ryan, and I met him on Hinge. 

With this article, I thought I would provide tips and tricks to guide your way to a serious relationship using dating apps. I specifically got this idea because I have heard friends say they were using dating apps and not having any success, but I wanted to give people hope that dating apps can work!

Customize Your Profile with Great Photos

Dating apps, unfortunately, go off of first impressions using pictures. Use pictures that really capture who you are, and don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Don’t post pictures that you aren’t 100% on, so if you don’t feel amazing or confident about the photo, your best bet is to not upload it to your profile.

I definitely recommend having a variety of photos on your profile. Most dating apps only allow five to six photos, so you really have to narrow it down. I would say you should have at least two pictures of you by yourself. That way you can really establish that you are the person the dating profile is about. One of the pictures should be a full-body shot, and I definitely recommend putting one with a dog if you have one! Your pictures should show you enjoying life and looking happy.

Lastly, you can post pictures with friends, but I recommend staying away from putting other guys in your pictures, if you are searching for a male partner. Never put ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends in your photos either.

Write a Memorable Bio

The bio and other supplemental questions are what makes you stand out! When people look at your bio, something should stick in their head to make them want to swipe right or like your profile. If someone doesn’t have a bio or it is very simple, it comes across as boring. I definitely recommend coming up with something creative and unique to you.

Also, a lot of dating apps have prompts that you can answer with your own responses. Fill all of these out. Definitely do the most when it comes to advertising your true self.

Be Clear About What You Are Looking For

Being clear is so important on dating apps, because if you don’t make it super explicit that you want a relationship, then you may get people that are only wanting something casual. Most dating apps have a filter to show whether you are unsure about what you want, want something casual, or are looking for a relationship. 

One thing that I found was that boys that I came across on can also be looking for a serious relationship, but they may not have the filter on, or it says not sure. It definitely is okay to scope those people out in conversation.

Look at Others’ Profiles in Depth

This was something that I did a lot when I was on dating apps. First thing you should look for is what that person is looking for in terms of using the dating app. If it is something casual, there is high probability that you should swipe left. If anything sets you off in a negative way or you are debating something, chances are your gut is right and you should swipe left. Also, if you can’t figure out which person the profile is for, you probably should swipe left. Notice what kind of pictures the person uses and how they present themselves in their bio. Remember that someone is looking for something about you to stand out, and you should do the same thing.

Actually Message Them

I know there are a lot of people on dating apps that merely just swipe, message the person once, and then don’t ever message the person again. The other type of person is when they swipe and don’t even attempt to message them, or answer the other person’s message.

In order to try to get into a serious relationship using dating apps, you actually have to message your matches on a consistent basis. In order to get to know them, you should ask questions about their interests, family, and why they are using the dating app.

Try to stay away from anything really personal, such as health conditions, previous relations and sex lives. These are topics that can put a damper on conversation and make it really awkward.

You Can Message Multiple People at Once

Don’t feel bad for messaging multiple people at once. Most people on dating apps are doing the same thing. However, when you find a person that you want to be serious with after a few dates, make sure that they aren’t still talking to other people as well as you.

Now, I don’t specifically have an opinion on which dating app is the best, but I definitely recommend the two I used, which were Bumble and Hinge. Mainly because Tinder scares me. I hope this gives you some insight as to how to find a serious relationship using dating apps! Have fun and be safe!

Elizabeth Kraupner is a Siena College Class of 2022 alumna. During her time at Siena, she studied Psychology.