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9 Compliments You Can Give That Aren’t Based on Appearances

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Siena chapter.

As young women, we’ve been subjected to a society that places a spotlight of scrutiny on our appearance and always being well-put together. But with such laser beam focus trained on every hair being in place and being picture perfect, we tend to discount all of the more amazing qualities we bring to the table and those, too, are deserving of some praise.

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1. “You’re such a great listener.”

It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed and drowned out when you have something to say. So actively listening when a friend has something to say can mean the world and therefore should, without a doubt, be applauded.  

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2. “I feel like I can tell you anything.”

There is nothing that makes me feel more warm and fuzzy inside than when my friends express to me how much they trust me. It’s a critical part of any friendship, or any relationship, and should always be appreciated.

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3. “You give the best advice.”

This third one builds off of the previous to create a trifecta. When a friend comes to you for advice and compliments your (sometimes) impartial insight and judgment of the situation, it’s the best application of being a good listener and being trustworthy. A three-part compliment.

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4. “I admire how passionate you are about ___”

Whether it’s your extensive collection of makeup, a love of useless historical “fun” facts, or a knack for taking the perfect Instagram, it feels great to have someone appreciate your enthusiasm.

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5. “You’re so fierce.”

Once upon a time, this was an insult for being too bossy and aggressive. But in an age of young women being bosses, and not bossy, your fierceness is your strength and confidence, and demands to be recognized. Fierce women stand up for their friends, what they believe in, and most importantly, themselves.

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6. “You’re really going to make a difference in the world someday.”

A professor said this to me a couple of weeks ago and it really resonated with me. It reminded me of how essential it is to reassure the people that you care about that you believe in them. It’s easy to forget that there’s always someone in your corner rooting for you; everyone needs a reminder of how incredible they are.

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7. “You’re so knowledgeable.”

This compliment involves more than just being bookish, someone who is knowledgeable is also keeping up to date on current events. It’s more than being smart because a knowledgeable person takes the initiative to apply what they know to their everyday lives in order to keep others informed without belittling them as well.  

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8. “I love how witty you are.”

This is a personal favorite because it’s like multiple compliments in one, not only are you funny, but now you’re also smart and clever as well. I’m a big supporter of multidimensional compliments.

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9. “Your happiness is contagious.”

It’s good to have a positive demeanor every day, but it feels even better when your optimism impacts the attitudes of others.  

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In this crazy, mixed up world we live in, it’s nice to have a reminder of the inner strength we each have. Not only do we need to believe in that power and trust our own strength, but it’s crucial that we always take steps to empower others and remind them that they also have that power and strength inside of them.

Although all compliments should be appreciated, it is the compliments that dig beneath the surface that have the most impact and are the most flattering. These compliments are the ones that show a person actually has taken the time to get to know you and recognize you as a multifaceted person.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t let your roommate know when she’s having a great hair day, or let the girl who sits next to you in philosophy know how much you adore her boots, but I hope this serves as a reminder that we each have so much to offer the world besides our looks and it is important to remember that and remind others of that, as well.  

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Rachel Clark is a Siena College Class of 2021 alumna. During her time at Siena, she studied Political Science.