Relationship Labeling: Is it a No or a Go
Article by: Catherine Amoriello
You finally work up the nerve to talk to the guy you have been crushing on all semester. The two of you start off by exchanging numbers and texting, and then you begin to hang out on a regular basis. You know you really like him and you feel that the feelings are reciprocated, but yet the two of you never really talk about what your relationship means or what it even is for that matter. The question you want to ask him constantly looms over your head: “What are we exactly?” You refrain from asking in fear that his answer will be something along the lines of “friends with benefits” or “just a fling”. So what do you do; suffer with not knowing the status of your relationship or risk asking the question that could result in an answer you do not want to hear?
Based off of my own personal experiences and the experiences of my friends, I would say many girls face the struggle of having to label a relationship. A reoccurring theme in relationships is if you and your guy know you like each other, what’s the point in having to declare that “you’re my girlfriend” or “you’re my boyfriend”? Isn’t just knowing that your significant other cares about you enough? Must you have the title of boyfriend or girlfriend to mean something to someone else?
Personally, I do not care much for relationship labels. I do not think they define a relationship in any way, given that I have encountered many couples who call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, but they certainly do not act like it. But, if being able to call your significant other “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” makes you feel more secure in the relationship, there is nothing wrong with that. But no one should feel pressured to use the terms, or explain to any outsider “what” their significant other is.
However, I do feel that it is important to discuss with your significant other how you feel about them and what you expect out of the relationship. Instead of asking the dreaded “What are we?” question, start off with how you feel about your relationship and your significant other and then ask them how they feel. Becoming exclusive with your partner does not require a label, but there should most definitely be an in depth discussion of what each of you expect out of the relationship and each other.
Relationship labeling is neither a no or a go; it is a personal preference. As long as you and your partner are on the same page and are content with your relationship, do not trouble yourself with worrying about labels or having to fill a certain role in the relationship.