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Toxicity and Emotional Abuse in Relationships: My Advice to You

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SFU chapter.

Harmless arguments and bickering are standard, toxicity is not; it’s unhealthy. Feeling unsupported, threatened, ridiculed, always on edge, worried, and anxious about your partner’s actions and words are signs of an abusive relationship. I know that is scary right? It’s other people who end up in abusive relationships, not you, and besides, your partner has never actually harmed you, right? Wrong. Abusive relationships take on many different forms, and they aren’t always physical. It is essential to talk about the fact that mental and emotional abuses do exist and they are harmful. If you are reading this and feel it is relevant to your current relationship, keep reading. If you are reading this and you can’t relate at all, keep reading. This is important; this is my list of advice to you.

1. If you find yourself questioning whether or not your relationship is toxic or often appears more unhealthy than healthy, it probably is.

2. Toxic and abusive behaviour favours no gender, sex, or type relationship.

3. Feeling afraid to end a relationship may more so be a sign that you need to be in a better relationship with yourself.

4. Your partner trying to control you is not a sign of admiration or protection; it is toxic.

5. Constant lashing out and the feeling that you are walking around on eggs shells, worried of your partner’s reactions is not healthy.

6. End it. This will be hard, and you may not feel relief right away, but trust me, it will come.

7. You may experience a lot of different emotions, and this is normal. I went through phases of sadness, then regret, then anger, and then a lot more anger. Eventually, you will move on, and you will learn from your experiences, you are already a stronger person.

8. It can be beneficial to talk to a counsellor or therapist; don’t be afraid to try this.

9. Be proud of yourself for getting out.

10. You will be okay, and most importantly, this is not your fault.

Hi, I'm Lynsey! I am a 20 something full-time Communications student at SFU, the past PR/Marketing Director of HC SFU, and current Campus Correspondent. I am also an avid literature lover, coffee consumer, and aspiring PR professional who is still fairly new to the city, as my roots are deep in the West Kootenays.  Follow me on Instagram @lynseygray, to get to know me better at lynseygray.ca, or connect with me on LinkedIn https://ca.linkedin.com/in/lynsey-gray-088755aa
Terri is currently a fourth-year Communication major at Simon Fraser University and Campus Correspondent for Her Campus SFU. Hailing from Hong Kong and raised in Vancouver, she has grown to love the outdoors and mountains of BC. Her favourite pastimes are reading historical fiction, hiking, lying on the beach drinking mojitos and attempting to snowboard. You can get to know her more on Instagram and Twitter at @terriling.