The thing with being a student, juggling extracurriculars, and maintaining a part time job is that no matter how busy you are, your family will still expect your presence at social functions. The love and support of family is sometimes the best medicine to ease the stress of a busy schedule, but other times taking a nap seems a lot more appealing than attending your third cousin’s second wedding. Here is the questionnaire to definitively determine whether you actually should attend a family function (for every “yes” answer, you will receive the corresponding points, so keep score as you go!):
1. Will there be food?
5 points for “yes”
2. Will your favorite cousin be there?
10 points for “yes”
3. Will there be alcohol?
20 points for “yes”
4. Will the gathering last less than 3 hours?
10 points for “yes”
5. Will your elderly family members be there?
5 points for “yes”
6. Will there be group photos taken?
5 points for “yes”
7. Will there be a professional photographer present?
15 points for “yes”
8. Is the function less than an hour-long commute from your home?
10 points for “yes”
9. Are there any members of your immediate family attending?
10 points for “yes”
10. Did your mom tell you to attend?
100 points for “yes”
If you received 50 points or more, you must attend. If you received 50 points, then its time to summon your inner Karen Smith and start working on that fake cough.