How to Fail Your Midterms (Caution: Read Wisely)

Got a midterm coming up? You’ve got nothing to worry about! There are more fun things to do on the weekend than study, especially with that wonderful rain we’ve been having. The news says a storm is coming – that could only mean more fun! Only have a few days to study? Even better! Less time to cram unwanted terms and formulas that you probably will forget at the end anyway. In work, will anyone ever randomly ask you on the spot to remember what formula to use to solve such and such a problem? Did not think so.

Stressing over your midterm because there’s nothing else to do? We’ve got you covered on how to fail that midterm so you don’t have to stress about it ever again.

#1. Do not remind yourself in any form.

Just don’t. Forget about marking your calendars or giving yourself a few weeks in advance to start studying. Don’t even worry about checking the time and location of the exam. You’re better off not knowing when you’re supposed to be stressing about it anyway. Bought a planner at the start of the semester? You should have known better than to use it. It’s not effective anyway since it only makes you more stressed and we don’t want that!

#2. Do not listen to your prof’s midterm reminders.

When a prof gives you reminders about your midterms, they can only be bad. It’s only going to be full of tips that you’re not really going to need, nor will you ever need for any other occasion other than your midterm. Why do you want to listen to stressful things? Just check Facebook and Youtube when your prof mentions anything remotely related to midterms. Better yet, don’t go to class at all; problem solved.

#3. Notes? Don’t take any.

You don’t need those! Everything you need to know is inside your head – that’s what it’s built for, isn’t it? It remembers everything! Even that quiz that you were supposed to take about a reading that you were supposed to do weeks before? Probably not going to show up anyway. The prof is probably just going to ask random questions not related to the course so you don’t need to waste energy taking them down. Less effort = more time saved. Right?

#4. Don’t go to office hours.

I mean, who goes there anyway? Go to class earlier or stay later? No way! You probably won’t have enough time to talk to the prof since they will probably just talk about things that other people probably don’t know about, since you were the only one that asked. What’s the use of that? 

#5. Don’t show up for the exam.

This is probably the most fail-proof way to fail any of your exams. If there’s only one thing that you will take away from this, this is it.

Hopefully these help you de-stress before that big exam. Don’t forget, the less work you put in, the bigger the chances of failing. You’ve been advised. Now go fail that midterm.

On the other hand, if you’re one of those people that chooses to stress over your midterms, then feel free to follow the exact opposite of everything in this list. 

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