“Glowing up” is what kids these days (aka me and everyone else that has both access to the internet and too much spare time) are using to refer to the process of turning from an ugly duckling into a beautiful swan. But what really happens during this process? Here are the five steps to glowing up and why your past self, current self, and future self are all beautiful.
1. Inspiration: “Oh, hey, look at Sophia Bush’s hair. What if I did my hair like Sophia Bush?” And thus the prospect of change seems a bit more tempting. It may start with one thing and that one thing prompts you to make other changes. The willingness to change can be a very positive disposition to maintain, but here’s the thing: it is a vicious cycle. One day I was walking around the house with white strips on my teeth and I ran into my father. He took one look at my white strips, said: “You are going to end up deformed,” and walked away. While my father’s communication skills may be a tad impaired and insensitive, his general intention was to tell me that if I get carried away I will become more obsessed with change than subtle improvements. Don’t tell him this, but the man had a point.
2. Attempt: So, you’ve changed your hair, bought an eyebrow pencil, and invested in some high quality powder (I recommend Smashbox’s foundation powder). Look out world, here you come. And inevitably the reaction from your friends makes you want to go back home. They “Ooooo” and “Ahhh,” and chances are a few of them who seem to have left the womb with a complete face of makeup call you “cute” in a condescending tone. In summary, it’s a bit too much attention.
3. Persistence: After a bit of practice achieving your new look, you go back into the world with more confidence, your friends stop reacting like you showed up class in a poorly-fitted Playboy bunny costume, and you stop anticipating the reactions of those around you. Take note of this step. This is a good place to be, but this may not be the place you end up staying.
4. Acknowledgement: You find yourself creeping your old photos, thinking “Wow, I look so much better now.” This possibly leads to you deleting these old photos off of Facebook and then maybe becoming that person who methodically untags “old self” from every old photo. Fear becoming this person. This person also refers to pre-glow up you as if she is a separate entity. Why is this so bad? This attention to your old physical appearance and what it has now become leaves little room for seeing yourself as a developed person. So, the glow up leaves you with a very simple cause-and-effect mentality, while other aspects of your being may not be able to change quite so simply. You may be obsessed with the physical change of your body and are either too focused on these physical aspects to bother developing your mind, or you’ve forgotten how to be satisfied by the more subtle changes that can occur with inner development of the self.
Then, there is step five, which, actually is more of a “Choose Your Own Adventure” situation than a simple step:
5. Discontentment: Looking in the mirror feels something like looking at a page from an “I Spy” book; you only focus on specific aspects to see what looks out of place and looking at the big picture does not even feel like an option. At this point, you have become what my father warned me of. While you are in no way deformed, you have begun to see yourself as if you were.
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5. Contentment: At some point you realize that you are happy with your glow up because it showed your ability to be flexible and try new things and you are appreciative for the confidence boost. With all of this, you become aware that you feel beautiful now because you have always been beautiful. Your glow up was simply an acknowledgement of your pre-existing beauty and an embrace of the physical aspects of your being which you love. This is the adventure I hope you choose.