It was something I had dreamed of for as long as I could remember. Those summers spent on the sandy beaches, and sun beaming down on me put me at glee. Southern California has always been a place that leaves me with favorable memories, a time when I always feel happiest. It wasn’t until after, a time in my life nothing short of a bumpy ride that I really pursued the idea of fulfilling my California dream and settling down to study in Santa Barbara.
Fast forward a year waking up in the sunny state and I had never felt more lost. I am social, outgoing, and love surrounding myself with people. But suddenly, I found myself in isolation and, in question. I lost my energy, and more importantly, I lost a sense of who I was. But why? I had everything (in my eyes). A house steps from the beach, a friend I felt I had known my entire life, and that sun beaming back down on me every day. I left it all behind and turned back to where I started, at home in Vancouver.
It’s funny – I’ve never actually found the words to tell someone why I left Santa Barbara, nor can I make sense of it in my own mind; why I essentially lost myself in the midst of it all. Through it all, I see now how much this experience helped me grow, and has prepared me for what life throws at me next. It’s taught me not to take the little things in life for granted, and treasure the things you believe are a given, when in reality they are a gift. I’m now grateful that I can look back on my time in California with fond memories meeting new people, fulfilling my dream, and seeing considerable growth in myself in such a short span of time.
Truly, don’t take what you have for granted
I think so often, we never realize what we have until we don’t have it anymore. I came to a sudden realization of some of the smallest things in my life taken for granted. One of the biggest lessons I learned was the importance of family. Living with my parents and three sisters was all I had known so transitioning into a house with five other girls was eye-opening to say the least. Until now, I have never valued the relationship with my family more.
Live in the moment
One of my biggest regrets during my time in California is all the times I said, “no.” Why couldn’t I ever just utter a simple, “yes” to an invitation? I seemed to always over-analyze the times I were invited to outings and events – so much so that I would find a reason to say no. I let my school work consume me to the point where I lost any sort of balance in my life. In turn, this unhealthy habit led me to pass up the opportunities to take time for myself and maintain a social life.
Change your outlook
Despite the setbacks and stressors in your life, never let that change your attitude, is what I would tell myself two years ago. Though I knew I was returning home in a short time, I regret not making the best out of the time I had left in such a beautiful place. There was no better time than the present to check off the remaining items on my bucket list and spend the last moments I had with the amazing friends I had made. Looking back, I wish I had changed my attitude and given myself the motivation to close this chapter on a positive outlook, and conclude an experience that one could’ve only dreamed of.
Don’t sweat the small stuff
I was so focused and determined to do well in school that I let the rest of my life slip away right in front of me. I got caught up stressing over every lecture, every assignment, and every exam thinking that my life depended on it. At the end of the day I would go home to absorb the ongoing drama between my roommates and I, feeling drained as another thing was added to my exhaustive list of stressors and worries. I’m happy to say that today I still care as much about my education than I did before but gracefully learned to not let it weigh on me as much. As for roommates, well, girls will be girls.