There comes a time when we need to spice it up with the love of our lives, or just want to bring something new to the dating table, and this is just the place for you! However, first things first, we must establish the difference between sex and intimacy. Intimacy is commonly linked to sex, but nowadays it doesn’t always have to deal with intercourse because intimacy comes in many forms: Physical, mental, and spiritual. In a nutshell, intimacy is more of a connection builder, while sex is an act. With that being said, some of these tips can even apply to my celibates and virgins out there, so that’s good! Now that we got that out the way, let’s move on to the exciting stuff.
Foreplay without any “play”? Yep. Now some ladies wouldn’t see the point, but this is the favorite part to most anyway, so it works out. There are so many perks to this one because it can last a long time, both parties can learn each other’s bodies, and foreplay is just a beautiful thing. You can go down on them of course, but if you’re trying to be celibate or anything like that then that can be omitted. What else is there to do? This is the opportunity to really explore the body: kiss and nibble the neck, bite their lip, fondle the breasts, rub/finger, etc. Basically, just feel them up, use all your senses and TAKE YOUR TIME. This is intimate because without the expectation of intercourse, it gives you two the time to just concentrate and pay extra attention to the satisfaction you give each other. Embrace the moment.
Remember, being intimate is all about that connection. A good way to connect with someone is when they are vulnerable, and I know it’s an uncomfortable feeling, but sometimes is the most effective. There are often negative connotations with vulnerability, but it doesn’t always have to result in crying or having awkward conversations about your childhood-in fact, it’s the exact opposite. Reveal weird or embarrassing fun facts about yourself and laugh about it, talk about stupid things you used to believe as a kid, discuss ancestry/ cultural backgrounds. These examples are perfect for getting to know them on a deeper level and get you guys to step out your comfort zone.
A hot way to be vulnerable is to lie nude in bed just embracing each other. If you’re wanting to have sex, then only do this for a certain amount of time to build up the sexual tension to ensure a good experience. If you’re celibate and have mastered self-control, this is a great way to meet halfway. In my opinion, humans are most vulnerable in two cases: In tears or in the nude. Not only is it hot to have your naked bodies touching but doing this while looking into their eyes or even falling asleep in pure silence is a very intimate experience. For some, it’s possible to be an emotional experience (positively) as well so that is a bonus.
There are more alternatives to sex than most people realize- dry humping is one you’ve probably heard of before, but let’s talk about tantric sex. Tantra means “weave” and is an ancient Hindu practice. This practice deals with the mind, body and soul and doesn’t always end in an orgasm, but rather enhances the sexual energy. Results from a single session can have a powerful result and include soft actions like gently rubbing your partner’s skin, to not really being in motion at all because it’s all about awareness. Soul-gazing is an example of tantric sex, and basically all you do is gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes for no longer than five minutes and concentrate on your breathing and the stare. This act can be a sexy and loving experience because it awakens your senses and forces you to connect with each other to another realm. Another session is placing your hands on each other’s hearts and slowly try to match your breathing; this is meant to feel the energy of love between you guys.
Participating in activities with your bf/gf is a fool-proof way to establish intimacy, and there are endless things for you guys to get into. Do a couple’s cooking course, take tango lessons, recreate couple challenges from YouTube, etc. Not only are they lots of fun, but it gives you two something to do together and spend time with each other. Something one of you is terrible at can help too, so if you’re not familiar with sports watch the game with them, and if they know nothing about tidying up, organize a room together. That way, they would be forced to trust and learn from you or vice versa, and get to see you shine at something you’re good at. Some ladies even let their lover remove their hair extensions for them and/or cut their hair, and that is beyond intimate for those who really care about their hair.