Photo provided by: Kasharra Ashworth
My 22ndbirthday is rapidly approaching. It’ll be here on April 17thand it got me thinking about all the things that I wish that I knew when I was younger. So, here’s a letter to my past self about things that I wish I knew and overall just who I am as a person now.
I’m writing this letter to you from you in the year 2018. We’re about to be 22 years old! So, first I want to tell you happy birthday and I hope that things are working out for you the way that you want them to. I know that things don’t seem to make much sense to you and that you don’t know what you want to do with your life, but you’re going to be a teacher. Shocking, I know, but you are going to love working with children, it will be your passion.
I am currently sitting in our dorm room and I’ve been thinking about all the things that I wish that I knew when I was younger. I want you to know that it is ok to put yourself out there. Sure, there is a possibility of it not working out in your favor, but I don’t want you to regret the chances that you didn’t take. Be yourself first and foremost. I know that you spend a good deal of your time wishing that you were someone else, but you are perfect the way that you are. You don’t have to change for people to like you, if they can’t see how amazing you are then that’s their loss.
I know that you have temper issues and your mouth is definitely a weapon, but you’re not that volatile, nasty person that you used to be. I tried so hard to get us to a place where we are happy with the person that we see when we look in the mirror and I’m more than proud to say that we’re there. I don’t cringe and think about the negative aspects of who I am anymore because I’m not that person anymore. The work that you put in is remarkable and people notice the change. However, the temper is completely gone, but it is manageable. My advice to you is to just walk away when you are being provoked. Not everything needs a response from you. It doesn’t make you weak to walk away. In fact, you’ll never feel stronger because you’re not going to let someone get the best of you.
You love to be at home, but I encourage you when you have the chance to go places and spend the night, do it. The time in particular that I am referring to is when you were packed and ready to stay in Houston at Johnnie and Aunt Lou’s house. You backed out at the last minute because you wanted to be home with your mama. I get it, we love our mama but you’re going to regret not staying. You’re going to lose Johnnie and Aunt Lou a few years after this and you think of all the things that you should have done. When I mentioned taking chances, this is one that you should have took because from what I heard it was a pretty good trip.
You’re also going to have pretty good, developing, relationship with your father. I know that you are probably laughing right now, but I’m not joking. It’s a rocky road but it is happening. I know that a relationship with your father is something that you have wanted and as long as you keep an open mind, I guarantee that it is going to happen for you.
The last thing that I want to tell you is to love yourself unconditionally. I know you look in the mirror and sometimes you don’t like what you see but you are beautiful regardless of what you are feeling on the inside. Don’t ever forget that! And never do anything that you don’t feel comfortable doing. If it doesn’t feel right to you, it’s ok to say no. Never let anyone make you feel bad for putting yourself first. You’re worth more than you’ll ever know.
I love you,