Ahhh Valentine’s Day, the one day a year dedicated to adoring your significant other by showering each other in gifts, chocolates and affection out the wazoo. Never has there been a day to also highlight the loneliness of singles everywhere. I personally have spent many Valentine’s by myself and, have realized that throughout the years, I have been subject to the five stages of being single. You might be asking yourself, “What are they and what do they mean?” Well, let’s take a deep dive into each.
1. Denial
Denial was definitely a part of my earlier years when I was still so wide-eyed about the world. The year would start, January would pass and then all of a sudden February 14 would just happen. I would walk the halls my head held high like nothing bothered me and it wasn’t even Valentine’s Day. I’d say to myself, “I didn’t wear red because of the day, it was just a shirt I really liked and of course, I wasn’t sad, I didn’t have anyone to share it with. Who could be sad on such a regular day like any other?” I could not accept that I was lonely on a holiday where it seemed I was surrounded by loving couples.
2. Anger
Personally, I’m pretty level-headed, but after a while of just bottling up all my feelings, I couldn’t help exploding every once in a while. I grew bitter and I said fuck everyone and this stupid holiday. I couldn’t handle my emotions so I lashed out to everyone. Needless to say, I was sent to my room to cool off for the rest of the day.
3. Bargaining
These were the worst Valentine’s for me and my confidence. I would try and reason with myself: maybe if I wear more makeup someone will find me beautiful. If I show more skin they’ll see what they’re missing. I’d look in the mirror thinking what don’t I have and how can I change myself so someone could love me?
4. Depression
I am not afraid to admit that I have been a total cliché and have sat my ass on the couch engorging myself with a gallon of ice cream and just moping around. I had no energy to even get ready for the day so I’d just throw on a pair of sweats. Trying at all was hard and I’d shed a tear before I’d go to bed.
5. Acceptance
It may have taken a while but I realized that Valentine’s does not mean I have to feel less than what I already am because I don’t have a significant other. I can celebrate my love for my family and friends. I learned to appreciate the people around me more and be thankful that I have people that care about and love me.
So, for this Valentine’s, I will still be single and I will be celebrating it with a couple of my friends with a Galantine’s party. I suggest that if you are ever feeling down about your relationship status just realize that you are a boss ass bitch and you are beautiful so embrace the holiday and decide to love yourself.