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Sparty Surivival Guide 2016

That time of year is rolling around again. The trees are blooming, the air is warming, and the bean boots are slowly but surely being pushed to the back of the closet. That’s right, it’s spring…Spring Party! With the highest of holidays on our fellowship calendar imminently approaching, the Sewanee campus is gearing up for this sacred weekend ritual. It’s a big deal. Whether you are a first timer or a veteran looking to improve your ways, here are a few tips to conquer Sparty 2016. 

1. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

Remember! Spring Party lasts (arguably) Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. This means that you don’t necessarily need to party your heart out any particular night. Simply take it day by day and party by party. 

Trust me.

2. School is still in session.

Despite this holiday, classes are not canceled and attendance still matters. Also, assignments are still due. Therefore, despite the longevity of this festive weekend, we all need to keep up with our homework. So find the time, ya hear? If you have a paper due Friday, don’t go out on Thursday with the intention of going out “a little bit” and returning home to write. It never works.

Trust me. 

3. Just because there is alcohol available doesn’t mean you have to drink it. 

It will be everywhere. It will be in your dorm room, the showers, the frats, the fields, need I say more? As the inebriation intensifies, it often feels as if every offer of liquid refreshment is one’s last opportunity to indulge. This sensation is a lie, as it is a byproduct of intoxication. Just because it is a special weekend does not mean you should abandon all sense of limits and drink in excess. Remember your boundaries, remember your limits, take it easy, and keep a tally on your arm.  It’s okay to say no. 

Trust me.

***This is untrue. Your limit always exists.

4. Remember to change your clothes.

When it seems like the party never stops, it sometimes feels like you don’t have to either. While one does not have to take a break and groom oneself, it is highly encouraged as a part of social etiquette to remember to shower and change clothes. A great way to ensure the upkeep of hygiene during this weekend is to go to bed wearing pajamas. While for some it proves an unthinkable feat to go to sleep on a weekend night not in one’s clothes, it is truly worth it and highly satisfying. So whatever you do, wash your hair, brush your teeth, and change your shirt. 

Trust me.

5. Wear Sunglasses

The rose-colored glasses which accompany beverages have little UV protection. So, remember to throw on your shades. BUT KEEP YOUR RAY-BANS AT HOME.

Trust me.

6. Sustenance

Food: it’s a necessity. However, remember you cannot take either your bags or your beverages into McClurg during Spring Party. Remember to be careful, but remember to consume (food). Crawfish in the afternoon won’t cut it, eat breakfast. 

Water: H2O and you’re good to go.

Trust me.

7. Naps

Don’t be afraid to get some shut eye at 1:30 PM. If you are worried about not rallying, find a sleeping buddy and set more than one alarm. I recommend 5 in 3 minute increments.

Trust me.

8. Travel with a friend

Buddy system never fails. You are much less likely to do something drastically out of character if you are accompanied by a pal who once knew you in your sober life. 

Trust me.

8. Eat a banana

Maintaining potassium in one’s system is very important, as low levels lead to dehydration.

Trust me.

9. Don’t go to red eye

Just kidding, see you there.

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