So, I have to confess that I have deceived you, kind of. Well, I was purposefully vague in the title of this piece so that you would click on it and I could maybe con you into reading about something you may or may not hate hearing about. So that’s fine, right?
Anyways, I want to talk to you about a subject that has become so stigmatized in our culture that the very name of it often elicits (at best) some seizure-inducing eye rolls and exasperated groans of, “And here we go….”
It is an ideology that has become so burdened with negative stereotypes that many people steer clear of even trying to learn about it for fear of what others will think.
And it is a movement that is so crucial to understanding why recognizing a day each year as International Women’s Day is necessary or important.
I’m talking about an issue near and dear to the hearts of a significant chunk of the population, at Sewanee and in the whole freakin’ world. Everyone knows who they are, and probably everyone has an opinion on them. I identify strongly with this group, which makes it all the more frustrating for me when I hear some people talk about them/us in ways that are so incredibly inaccurate. And then it can be described as nothing less than agony-inducing when that misinformation gets used against us in harmful and stigmatizing ways.
I’m talking about feminism.
I KNOW, I know…I probably just lost you. By now you’re back to Buzzfeed, retaking the quiz you’ve taken twice already because out of all the cheeses in the world, would you REALLY be only cheddar?? (I know, the truth hurts). You’re tired of hearing our tired Femi-nazi rants, and you’re done with us forcing our man-hating agenda down your throat. But seriously, hear me out, because I’m willing to bet that most of what you think you know about feminism is based on negative stereotypes, rather than fact. My goal here is to highlight the most common myths about feminists and give you some Real Talk about why each one is just that—a myth. So here goes my best attempt to win you over:
But first, before I finally get to what I’m really trying to say, let me just make it clear that the views expressed here are generalizations, unless otherwise stated; more specifically, they’re generalizations as I personally understand them, so many people within the feminist movement may not adhere to the uber-simplified views I’m presenting. Dissent is always welcome in the feminist movement, so please feel free to respectfully disagree.
1. Feminists are trying to make women superior to men.
So out of all the misconceptions about feminism, I thought I should start with this one so that I could give you a straight-up, concrete definition of feminism right off the bat. This one is the brain-child of bell hooks, a woman whose name you can’t avoid when studying feminist theory. It’s not necessarily THE agreed-upon definition of the feminist movement, but it’s definitely one that is popular enough to be worth using. Bell Hooks says, “Feminism is a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression.”
Most important to notice about this definition: it doesn’t explicitly mention men or women at all.
Yup, that’s right. Feminism is NOT a movement designed to solely promote female advancement. It’s true, feminism historically has focused on women and their needs, to the point that a lot of people think we do so at the expense of men. And a lot of people point to the movement’s name as proof (“it’s called FEMinism. It literally means WOMAN!”).
Modern feminism still focuses on many of those same issues, but there is also an acknowledgment it’s much more complex than “Women are oppressed by men.” Essentially we’re focusing on a system of institutions that oppress all people in various ways, but with some experiencing far greater oppression than others, especially women in comparison to men.
I’ll give you a specific example: so, as you probably know, women historically were kept in the homes, limited to the role of mother and housekeeper. They weren’t allowed to hold any real authority in society, and men made nearly every decision regarding women’s lives. Men held jobs outside of the home and basically ran all of public society. They were the family’s breadwinners, expected to make enough of an income to support themselves, their wives, and their children. Feminism sees these strict ideas of what men and women are “supposed to do” as harmful to both sexes. But, while men may have felt absurd pressure to be solely responsible for feeding their entire families, women felt the same pressure to be solely responsible for raising the children; to make matters worse, they felt unfulfilled and powerless over their own destinies. Here our cultural norms are oppressing both men and women, but it is the women who left entirely at someone else’s mercy.
So, feminism primarily focuses on women’s issues because women have so much farther to come. In reality, though, there are more than just two oppressed groups. Feminist scholarship on “intersectionality” focuses on how factors like race, socioeconomic status, and sexual orientation interact with gender to create additional varying levels of oppression. For example, a wealthy woman is more likely to become a CEO than a poor woman, simply because she has more access to things like expensive higher education.
Let me be clear: WE JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE EQUAL.
We want to live in a society that equally values the needs, strengths, and autonomy of ALL people.
2. Feminists are bra-burning lesbians that hate men. Like, all of them. For real.
Gahhhhhh, NO, NO, NO, AND NO. Seriously. No.
But, let me use my big-girl words. Yes, feminists are upset by the fact that men hold a great deal more power in our society that women do. And yes, we have unpleasant feelings about those certain men AND women who seem hell-bent on perpetuating sexism and limiting women to certain predetermined roles, rather than allowing them to be whatever the heck they want to be. But feminists as a whole DO NOT HATE MEN. In fact, a lot of us really love men! I know I do—without a man, I wouldn’t be here right now!
There is a huge difference between not liking a person, or in this case not liking a group of people, and not liking that they super unfairly get to do a lot of stuff that you don’t get to do. For example, I love all my guy friends, but I don’t love that when they apply for jobs, there’s a significant chance that they’ll get chosen over equally-qualified women just because they can’t have babies and therefore won’t need to go on maternity leave. I adore my little brothers, but I don’t adore the fact they will never have to work really hard on a regular basis to dress in a way that is “sexy, but not slutty.”
As for the bra-burning lesbian part, many of the feminists I know are not only straight, but they also wear bras. I’m even wearing one right now! And guess what? If you become a feminist, you might even get to keep your bras, too! This one also extends to other stuff, like not shaving, not wearing makeup, etc. So to this, I say two things: 1) this is nothing more than a stereotype put on feminists to make our cause unattractive to the large group of women who want to keep their bras/boyfriends and, more importantly, 2) WHO CARES?!?! Seriously, if you still want to avoid groups of people because they might be homosexual, you need a serious reality check because this is 2014, people, and that homophobic BS just don’t fly no more.
Not to say that NO feminists do these things. Some feminists do rejects bras and all that other stuff. And there is a whole bunch of lesbian feminists, just like there are a whole bunch of straight feminists, and bisexual feminists, and transgender feminists, and probably every other identification you can think of. And yup, there are even feminists that are pretty hostile to men. But aren’t there Christians that support marriage equality? Aren’t there some who don’t?
Feminism is really no different, except it’s a political cause and not a religion. “Feminism” is essentially a huge umbrella term for a lot of different opinions on how to achieve gender equality. Like different denominations of Christianity, there are different branches of feminism, and often there is a good deal of disagreement and critique among and within those branches. Recently a lot of scholars have found it far more helpful to refer to “feminismS,” plural, in order to reflect this diversity. But ultimately we all want the same thing (see #1, last paragraph).
3. Only women can be feminists.
Two (three?) words—and one beautiful face: Joseph. Gordon. Levitt.
I think I’ve said enough, but just to be sure, let me elaborate: Feminists can be any gender, race, sexual orientation, class, anything. Oh, you think waffles are better than pancakes? You’re wrong, but sure, you can be a feminist. Oh, you’re from Nebraska? Sorry about what I imagine was a really miserable childhood of picking corn and never seeing civilization, but you can be a feminist, too!
Honestly, the “feminist” label is a huge slut in that it gives itself out to anyone who will take advantage of its goods. (Disclaimer: As a feminist, I really hate slut-shaming in any form. I hope you can detect the irony in that last sentence.)
And one more, just because he’s perfection embodied:
K, moving on.
4. Feminists are just ugly women who are pissed off that men don’t find them attractive.
One word—no, you don’t even need any words:
That majestic woman above finally called herself “a modern-day feminist” last year in an interview with Vogue UK. If she alone doesn’t disprove the whole “ugly women” myth then I don’t even know who I am anymore.
5. We don’t need feminism anymore.
And, here’s where I have to get serious. In my opinion, this might be the misconception with the most power to undermine the feminist movement, to prevent true equality from being achieved, and to keep women and minorities marginalized, silenced, and victimized.
We definitely still need feminism.
We need feminism because of the 435 members of the House of Representatives, only 81 are women. That’s less than 19%. Of 100 senators, 20 are women, or 20%.
We need feminism because of the 1,645 people on Forbes’s 2014 list of the World’s Billionaires, only 172 are women. That’s just over 10%, and it’s a record-breaking year.
We need feminism because in the United States women still make about 18% less than men in the workforce.
We need feminism because 1 out of every 6 women and 1 out of every 33 men are victims of either an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.
We need feminism because we still think that “You’re so skinny!” is the best compliment you can give a girl, that being sexually promiscuous is equivalent to being a bad person, and that men who cry aren’t “real men”.
Mostly, we need feminism because when writing this, I had way too much trouble narrowing down examples to use.
***
So, Sewanee, I hope that I could give you a least a little deeper understanding of what feminism really is. I hope the next time you hear someone say, “I’m a feminist,” you won’t groan and roll your eyes, that you’ll understand that they’re saying, “I believe that everyone, including you, should be treated with respect and care simply for being human.” I hope you won’t write them off as an angry, hairy-pitted woman out to burn all your makeup and high heels.
Most of all—and I know this is a lot to ask so soon; gah, we basically just met!—I hope you’ll start to consider how important these issues are and possibly even join this crucial movement to make our world a happier place.
But ya know, it’s totally, like, not a big deal if you don’t want to. No one’s going to beg or anything—that’d be, like, so pathetic…..