If Gilmore Girls was set in Sewanee, TN

In honor of Netflix’s addition of Gilmore Girls:

How would Gilmore Girls be different if it was set in Sewanee instead of Stars Hollow?

  1. Rory of course would attend St. Andrew’s-Sewanee, the obvious equivalent to Chilton.
  2. Emily and Richard Gilmore would live at the Monteagle Assembly: the Sewanee version of Hartford.
  3. Taylor would own the Sewanee Market and he would not put up with hooligans coming in late at night to buy beer AND cigarettes.
  4. Dean would work at the Market.
  5. Kirk would probably work for PPS and nothing would ever get fixed.
  6. Luke would own Shenanigans and live upstairs. And would always have to cut Lorelei off from having too much "coffee.".
  7. Jackson would run the University Farm and he would give his produce to…
  8. Sookie, who would take over Chef Rick’s job at McClurg. It's a Sewanee Love Story!
  9. Lorelai would work at the Sewanee Inn with Michel.

Miss Patty would BE Yik Yak and spread all the latest news all over Sewanee!

I never thought you could improve on Gilmore Girls, but now I'm thinking Sewanee needs their own version: Gailor Girls?