What could men possibly have to say about feminism? This is the question I asked myself as I headed into the Mary Sue Cushman room at the Women’s Center for the FeMENism Pinnacle Luncheon this week. I sat down prepared to hear the five panelists each give their own one-dimensional rendition of a “we love women and they should be equal” speech. However, as Fleming Beaver kicked off the event with some opening remarks of his own, I realized that I was about to hear something quite different.
Fleming started the conversation by remarking that “women’s issues are issues with which everyone should be concerned,” and reminding us that feminism is not solely a responsibility of women, but rather a responsibility that falls on the shoulders of men as well. As he introduced the first speaker, Cullen Mitchell, the conversation continued to gain depth and direction.
Cullen spoke to the group about the similarities between the feminist movement and gay pride movements. “There is a fear of alienation that deters people from describing themselves as feminist or members of the LGBT community,” he stated. This fear comes from the social stigma about who feminists and gay people are and what they look like. Cullen called the Sewanee community to action, inviting them to “care less about what a feminist looks like and more about what feminism is” in order to achieve positive lasting change. His words also apply to how we as a community should direct our thought process regarding the LGBT groups on campus. Rather than reinforcing the subliminal message that “its okay to be gay in Sewanee, but not too gay,” lets create an open and accepting campus that is a safe space for feminism as well and for LGBT students. Having a Women’s Center and an LGBT house on campus are both wonderful tools for growing the community, but we should be cautious that those do not become the only places in which students feel they can fully express themselves.
Birpartap Signh was next to give his opinion on feminism, explaining that the strong women in his family, such as his mother, made feminism an integral part of his life. He also articulated his belief that our global society’s take on feminism will grow to be more accepting and empower over time and with education. Strong women and education can be widely recognized as the driving force behind social change, a reality that led into the next panelist, Aaron Browning, who began his speech by proclaiming to be a Women’s Studies major who doesn’t “know shit about women.”
Aaron’s bold statement segued into the topic of openness and honesty in the Sewanee community, specifically in the realm of relationships and hookups. Throughout his four years at Sewanee, Aaron noticed people’s tendency to gravitate towards two poles of behavior in order to simplify interactions: the friend zone or the hookup. This dichotomy of behavior seems to be linked to the general theme of simplication of relationships and even people, in order to feel like we have a firmer grasp on ourselves and on reality. This type of abstract thinking is visible when a woman is called a sl*t or a man is called a creep, it is language that dehumanizes people and keeps them at a distance from real understanding and epathy. To Aaron, feminism is a movement that promotes honesty and recognition of “the adequacy of one’s assumptions.” He encouraged his audience to break out of the mould of what you think you should do or what degree of honesty you are supposed to express and just be you. “You yourself are not all men, you are not all women, you are you and you are fabulous.”
So far, we heard from the panel that feminism was an issue for everyone, that it was a struggle similar to that of LGBT groups, that it’s current momentum sprung from the actions of strong women in the lives of various individuals, and that it centers on honesty with oneself and one’s community. As Will Copeland stepped up to the podium, he began to deliver a message that many of us, myself included, always benefit from hearing: be positive. Rather than addressing why Sewanee culture was good or bad for women, he spoke about how our traditions, habits, expectations, and mannerisms effect us all. “Far too often we let the small bad things in our lives outweigh the large positives.” He went on to quote fictional President Jed Bartlet from the popular TV show of the 1990s, The West Wing, reminding us that “the streets of heaven are too crowded with angels, but every time we think we have measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we’re reminded that that capacity may well be limitless.” Left with those encouraging words, Jewlz Davis, the final panelist stepped up to the podium.
While he strongly identifies as a feminist, Jewlz is not afraid to call the movement out for some of its flaws. Indeed it is true, feminism is not perfect. *Audience gasps* Having also come to know feminism through his family, Jewlz set out to dispel two of the most common misconceptions about feminism and feminists. No, feminism is not about making men subservient to women, it is about equal rights. Nor is it true that some women simply don’t fit the feminist mould. These two misunderstandings about the aims and nature of feminists have been perpetuated by many of the leaders of the movement. Jewlz, as well as many other nodding heads in the crowd, agree that we need more than a homogenous group of women in the fight for equality, we need a group of unique individuals with diverse opinions and backgrounds. There is no feminist hierarchy one must climb in order to be credible, so let’s revitalize this movement to make it one in which all people have a home. Let’s create a family of feminism.
I was stunned and impressed to get to know the multi-dimensional perspectives of feminism of 5 Sewanee men, but it leaves me wondering what the rest of the men here have to say. The Women’s Center is not just for women, it is for all students to come together to have a dialogue about issues that matter and to provide a support system for those types of conversation. So, men of Sewanee, don’t feel intimidated or pressured to keep a respectably “macho” distance from the Women’s Center or feminism, there is plenty of room for you.