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12 Spoken and Unspoken Rules of the Pub

For a few weekends last semester, I worked at the pub every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. It was exhausting, but it was one of the best experiences of my life. It gave me incredible insight into what it’s like to be a pub worker. While working, I picked up some information that will help ensure that you have the best possible dining experience. As a treat (get it?), I am showing some of the many menu items at my favorite Sewanee dining establishment.

1. Step away from the counter

You’ve probably heard this phrase a million times. “After you’ve ordered your food, please go sit down.” It doesn’t matter if your order is to-go. When one person stands up there, everyone will. Just trust me on this one. A massive crowd will form.

2. Tell the pub workers what you want…When you order

If you want your order to-go, tell them. If you want a ranch with your chicken fingers instead of honey mustard, tell them. If you want some extra marinara with your mozzarella sticks, tell them. It’s pretty simple. That way you don’t have to get back in line to pay the 35 cents for an extra sauce.

3. Don’t ask when your food will be ready

Seriously, it’ll be ready when it’s ready. The more things you order, the longer it will take for the pub workers to make it. They get the orders out as fast as they can. Hint: If you subtly get close enough to the counter to see your name on the ticket, you can tell how soon your order will be ready.

4. Do not hit on the Pub workers

I’m sorry if you think one is cute. They are busy and so not interested. Oh…and they are sober, and you probably are not. While I was working, I got three marriage proposals and five offers to “hang out” when I got off work. I get it; a girl who serves you food is all you could ever want.

5. Finish your food…and LEAVE

This rule usually only applies when it’s incredibly busy. There is a max capacity and there are only so many seats available. But if you join another group of people who still have food to eat, you can stay a little longer.

6. Bus your table

Don’t leave food and plates on, under, or around the table. Just as you would at McClurg, Globe, Stirling’s, Julia’s, or Shenanigans…

7. Order everything on the menu…at LEAST once

I hear it is quite the experience. Make sure you’ve got plenty of friends to share with. One or two should be enough.

8. Your sober order should NOT be the same as your drunk order

The pub is just not the same experience. Ordering tots on a random weekday night will forever tarnish the tots you adore so much at 2 A.M. on a Friday night.

9. Call in your to-go orders

Call 931-598-1140. If no one is answering, they are way too busy. Otherwise, they will have your order ready for you when you get there. This is especially helpful when you have a rather large order.

10. Get to know the workers when you are sober

If they know you, they will probably love you. They are seriously fascinating people to talk to and they are much more friendly if they know you on a personal level.

11. Do not sit on, stand near, or even look funny at the Tiger

Ok, you ALL know this rule and know that Jim takes this rule very seriously. I know the thing to do is to get a picture with the Tiger, but there is something you should know about the Tiger. It was donated to the school from a super old carousel and it is insured for A LOT of money. You break it; you buy it. I’m not sure your parents will be too happy about that charge on your student account.

12. Also, DO NOT STAND ON THE FURNITURE

Especially the counters. I learned this from experience. It’s not a good idea. You’ll probably break something. And again, if you break it, you buy it. You really will pay for it.

Sarah Christie, C'16, is a biochemistry major and French minor at Sewanee. When she graduates, she wants to go to vet school. She loves dancing like nobody is watching, meeting new people, eating Pub food, riding horses, and writing for Her Campus. 
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