11 Thoughts You Have While Tindering

Maybe you Tinder, maybe you don’t, but the majority of college students have at least heard of the dating app. You make a little profile with some pictures selected to not-so-accurately reflect your attractiveness, your height, and your sense of adventure. Toss on a little tag line, select which genders you’re interested in, the age range you’re interested in, and the distance from your location, and you’re set to tinder away. Swipe left for no, swipe right for yes, and tap on the picture to see more. It’s the wild west out there y’all.  

(Replace all gender pronouns as you see fit.)

1. Accidentally swiped left instead of right? Oh no, what if that cute guy was my soulmate and I’ve missed the chance to get to know him?!

2. There are so many people in all of these pictures…which one is he?

3. When in doubt, probably the one I’m least attracted to *swipes left*

4. Oh I know HIM, he goes to Sewanee!

5. He’s really cute, do I swipe right? What if it’s not a match? Eh I guess they’ll never know I swiped right then. Wait..what if it IS a match? What then? Oh my…it was a match. 

6. Left, left, left, left, left….5 minutes later…SHOOT HE WAS CUTE (see #1)

7. “Is it true what they say about [insert something that describes you…like being a redhead]?” …Did you know that you’re not the first person to use that line? Always that guy with the way overused, not even funny, pick up line.

8. “What are you looking for on Tinder?” Entertainment, conversation, my soulmate, the usual. Always that guy that gets straight to the point and is probably also pretty boring. These are the guys that typically take Tinder too seriously and are actually looking to put a ring on someone.

9. “Do you wanna…” NO. NOPE NOPE NOPE I DO NOT. And then there’s *that guy* (luckily Tinder now allows you to unmatch with people, and report/block people!)

10. Why am I on here anyway? Oh…he’s cute!  

11. Match? Score.